It's a Wonderful Jori
by John Ryan
Summary: Jade wishes she had never met Tori after her play is replaced by Tori's Christmas Pageant. So, the archangel Raphael comes down from Heaven to grant her Christmas wish. Yet, Jade might regret never having met Tori. Contains Jori.
1. I Wish I Never Met You

Author's note: For those of you who are not Roman Catholic, St. Raphael is an archangel who appears in the deuterocanonical Book of Tobit (τωβιθ). In the narrative, Raphael teaches the young Tobias to rescue a girl named Sarah from the clutches of the evil demon Asmodeus, whereafter the two fall in love and are married. Thus, in Catholic mythology, Raphael is our patron saint of matchmaking.

* * *

Jade West has never been one to take bad news very well. When she was seven years old and found out that Santa Claus was not a real person, she boycotted Christmas until it became socially unacceptable amongst her friends for her to do so. She must have been fourteen before she celebrated Christmas again.

So when Jade found out the school had canceled the new play she produced, and that they had promised to showcase on Russian Christmas, she was hopping mad to say the least. She could care less about the Christmas season, and that they were deciding to produce a last minute Christmas Pageant to accommodate the ever growing population of Eastern European residents around the Hollywood Arts area. Adding insult to injury, she found out that it was none other than Tori Vega who came up with the idea and would be in charge of its execution. And probably playing the Virgin Mary, too.

Tori had gathered all the willing participants in that black classroom where Jade pretended the Latin girl had given her a boo-boo eye during their stage fighting presentation. "All right, so Beck, how about it?" Tori beams, very pleased that it is all coming together. "You wanna play Joseph?" she continues.

"That's what I'm here for," he answers her in his usual cool and half-smug tone. He cannot help but crack a smile back at the tan girl who spreads happiness faster than George Takei can spread a meme. She is the girl everybody loves. Well, everybody except one person of course.

The heavy metal door to swings open and smashes against the wall to which it is hinged. The sound reverberates throughout the hallow room sending shivers through the students' bodies. Jade rushes through the opening, up the aisle and marches straight up to Tori. There is no laptop to slam shut this time like there was when Tori ruined her art project with a decision to host the first ever Hollywood Arts _prom_. (Sorry, Jade is right. There is no such thing as a _prome_). So she settles for the next best thing and barks at the wide-eyed latina, "How could you do this to me again? Really, Vega? Are you kidding me?"

Tori takes a step back, a little intimated by the chizzed off goth-girl standing right in front of her. "What are you talking about?" she questions honestly. Her voice is shaky, because she has never seen Jade quite this angry before. It wasn't her fault. She did not know about Jade's play.

"Your stupid Christmas pageant falls on the same day as my 'Clowns Don't Bounce: The Sequel' is set to premiere, so they canceled it!," Jade yells punctuating the last two words and taking a menacing step forward.

"I'm... I'm v-very sorry Jade," Tori stutters out as she recoils from the other girl's words. "But the flyers were already posted around town and it looks like a lot of people are really excited about the event," she defends and adds a small, nervous smile.

Jade takes her left hand and flips the fold-up chair next to Tori against the wall with such violent force. "I don't care," she screams, "Cancel it!" She moves her face within inches of the other girl, glaring right through her soul.

"N-n-no," Tori manages to eek out. She follows with a quick, "I'm sorry" and drops her head, not having the strength to face the piercing eyes of the her enraged frenemy.

Beck and André—who, if we're being honest, are both a little terrified of Jade—get to their feet and rush over to where Tori and Jade are standing. "Woah, woah, woah," Beck shouts to Jade as André places himself in between the two girls. "Just calm down, okay, Jade," he advises in the most calm and collected voice he can muster at the moment. He places a hand on Jade's shoulder, but immediately regrets it.

Jade swings around to face her ex-boyfriend, his hand falling off her. With murderous intent in her eyes, she warns him, "Never touch me like that again." But Beck doesn't back down. He tells her sadly, "I think it would be best if you just left, Jade. You're not welcome here anymore." He follows with a small shrug and a strained expression.

The goth grits her teeth and lets out a small sigh after studying the worried faces of all her friends. Tori dare not look her in the eye. "Fine," she huffs, "I'm not going to do anything this time." All the fire in her voice has left. She turns on her heel to leave, but pauses. She brings her attention back to the cowering Latina.

"You know what Tori..." Jade says in a depressed tone, "You're always taking everything I have away from me... Ever since you got here." Her eyes begin to water. Tori looks into her big blue eyes and her shattered appearance is like a shot to the heart. Jade shakes her head, "I wish the two of us never met, because my life would be so much better if you were never in it."

With that, Jade runs out of the room leaving everybody frozen and at a loss for words. Tori finally breaks the silence by telling Beck, "I'm gonna go after her." She moves her legs to follow the paler girl, but Beck grabs her wrist and fixes her in place.

"She brought this upon herself," he informs her. "She has to learn not to behave like this again. If you go after her and make everything better, you're just going to encourage her bad behavior." Beck nods his head and releases his hold on Tori.

All of her friends nod along, even Cat, much to Tori's surprise. Tori stands in place shuffling her feet. "I know," she responds, "but she just looked so sad, and... and... well, shouldn't that be enough?"

"Why do you always care?" Beck asks incredulously as he takes back his previous seat. "None of us care if she wants to act like a gank," he adds. Her friends nod along, but Cat stops herself mid-nod. "Well," Cat admits holding her thumb and index finger next to each other, "I care a little bit."

"We still have to finish doling out the parts for the play," André reminds Tori speaking practically. "Come on, girl," he continues as he drapes an arm around her shoulders and leads her down to the chair next to Beck.

Tori glances at the door and then back at her friends. Just when they were confident they had gotten her settled, she jumps up out of her chair and shouts, "I'm sorry you guys. I can't leave her out there crying somewhere," before she runs off into the cold night.

* * *

Jade trudges through the dark night in the local park nearby Hollywood Arts. The tears freeze on her red cheeks. The moon is partially obscured by white clouds. Out of breath, Jade finally stops dead in her tracks and rests her hands on her knees. "Stupid Vega," she thinks to herself.

She plops down on the ground scooting over so that her back is resting against the leg of a rusty bench. Her cell phone vibrates and she pulls it out of her pocket. It's a text message from Tori that reads, "Where are you Jade? I'm really sorry. Please let me talk to you." She groans and puts it back in her pocket. Why does Vega always have to try to make things right, she thinks. She can never just own up to the actions she takes, but always has to backtrack. This would be a lot easier if Tori wasn't so sweet. But, wrecking a play she worked so hard on was definitely not sweet, Jade reasoned.

It's freezing cold out and she didn't take a warm jacket with her to school this morning. It looks like it might snow. What a way to spend Christmas Eve. She pulls the jacket tighter against her body. After sitting for a good ten minutes, her body begins to shake. "Uh," she says to herself with a glottal emphasis, "I am going to get sick if I stay out here too long, and Vega's not worth it." She pushes herself to her feet and begins the long walk home.

She comes to a small bridge that overlooks a large duckpond. Her eye catches the sight of a black and white swan swimming alongside each other. She smiles a small smile at the coincidence. White swans were too cliché she thought, but black ones always remind her of herself a little. They are different from the ordinary, just like she is. Jade rests her hands on the railing and gazes at their beautiful feathers and beaks. The white swan nuzzles its beak against its the black swan's neck, and snuggles as close as possible to its companion. They must be lovers, she thinks. She would never admit it, but Jade does not hate all romance. Just the capitalist consumerism it has become associated with. True romance was worth dying for.

I step up behind her and place my hands on the railing besides her. She jumps at my presence and punches me in the arm, screaming, "Oh my God!"

I pretend to recoil from her hit, and rub it with my other hand. In a friendly voice, I respond with an, "Oww... that hurt."

"I'm sorry," she mutters as she takes a step back. "I didn't see you there, and you just kind of snuck up on me." Once she has taken a few seconds to process what happened, she looks me up and down with curious eyes. I am dressed in the classic, black, priest attire with a white collar and everything. "Did I just hit a priest?," she asks with a morbid expression on her pretty porcelain face.

I chuckle and tilt my head, waving a hand over my body to draw attention to my outfit. "No, No," I answer her, shaking my head. "I just chose this look, because I thought it would be more appropriate than the Middle-Eastern clothing I used last time." I lean back against the railing, trying my best to look what you humans call "chill".

"Oh, okay. That's not weird at all," Jade quips with a nicely timed roll of her eyes. "I'm going to get going," she says pointing in the opposite direction. She is clearly weirded out with me. Maybe she thinks I am here to pick up little kids or something. "Wait," Jade turns back around, "How did you know my name?" Her eyes are full of anxiety.

Very cryptically I respond, "Because I was sent here to grant your wish, Jadelyn West."

Jade reaches into her backpack and brandishes a pair of very expensive scissors. "Okay, stalker," she deadpans, "I have these and I am not afraid to use them, so why don't you just run along your merry way, whoever you are." She spins them around her forefinger and glares at me menacingly. It fails, because you cannot look menacing with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

I smile and inform her, "First of all, you cannot hurt me with that. Second of all, I am your guardian angel, Raphael." That was not entirely accurate, I realize. "Well, not _your _guardian angel," I correct myself. "I'm filling in because your regular guardian angel gets holidays off." I realize this might not sound all that convincing to her. She has never been religious, nor would the most religious believe that a crazy stranger were an actual angel.

"I am seriously considering just running in the other direction," she says to me with flared nostrils.

"I did not mean to frighten you, little one," I try my best to calm her. I keep my distance hoping it will relieve her fear. "But I speak the truth. I know that you were born on July 17th, that you love to cut up flowers, that you still sleep with your childhood pink unicorn when you are sad and that you wished you had never met Tori, because you think your life would be better without her in it."

Jade gasps at the life details I am rattling off. Stuttering, she protests, "How the hell do you know all of that? How long have you been watching me." She runs a hand through her hair trying to wrap her head around this strangeness.

"All your life, I'm afraid," I answer her truthfully. "I know it's difficult for you to comprehend, but like I said, I am your angel. God sent me to..."

"I don't believe in God," she interjects, biting her tongue.

"Well, that is quite all right, dear, because He believes in you," I say without any bitterness. I take two slow steps in her direction, like a man trying not to be noticed by the outdoor cat he feeds, so that he can finally get a chance to pet it. "And God fully intends to grant your wish. You truly think your life would be more pleasant without Tori Vega in it?" I give her one last chance to back out.

"Yes," she answers, "That's my Christmas wish." She does not know why she is being truthful to me. Perhaps it is a mix of sadness from being betrayed by all her friends and not sleeping in the last twenty-four hours. "Tori has done nothing but mess up my life ever since she got to Hollywood Arts. So if you really are an angel, then I think you should get on that as soon as possible." She scuffs her shoe against the pavement and adds, "But I still think you are full of it."

I nod my head in contemplation and clasp my hands together. "It does not matter if you believe me or not." The clouds in the sky disappear and the moon begins to progressively increase in its intensity, illuminating the dark world. Jade's eyes dart from the sky and moon back down to me. "When you awake, it will be morning and your wish will be granted. Tori will have never been accepted to Hollywood Arts and know nothing of who you are."

The veil between worlds is torn and a truer, angelic form of mine becomes visible to her. I grab the frightened Jade's shoulders and tower over her with my blazing wings outstretched. I glare her in the eyes. "But be careful what you wish for Jade" I warn. "If it turns out you were wrong about Tori, you will regret it. Sometimes we don't realize what we have until it is gone."

The moon explodes in a brilliant blast of white that consumes Jade's world.


	2. Alone in the World

Author's note: If the line "you're screwy" sounds like an anachronism, that's because it is. It comes from the original "It's a Wonderful Life" which this fan-fiction is based upon (duh!). I love the holiday classic, because it showcases the importance of love and family over money. It was written by the Catholic producer Frank Capra and his values are prominent throughout the film. It is my hope to convey the same Roman Catholic spirit in this paltry adaption.

P.S. _Piggy's Day Off _was the title of a kids movie on the ABC comedy series, _According to Jim._

* * *

Jade opens her eyes to the morning light pushing its way through the thin curtains. Her eyes go wide as she notices she is not in her own room, but in a strange bed. She pushes herself up on her elbows to get a better view of the room. None of this is familiar. She slides back and sits up against her pillows.

"Where the hell am I?" she mutters to herself. Within seconds the memories of the other day come flooding back into her head. Tori... angel... a bright white light... and a wish. "No," she mouths silently. "It can't be," Jade thinks shaking her head at such an absurdity. She must have taken one of her Dad's painkillers by mistake, and somehow wander to a strange bed, but that doesn't make any sense.

She pushes the covers off and slides her shoes over her socks. Jade grabs her backpack off the bureau and heads out the door. She walks down the flight of stairs, noticing the long hallway filled with many doors outside her own room. At the bottom is a lobby staffed with a secretary behind a large, tan desk.

Jade cautiously walks over to her and keeps her hands tucked at her sides, feeling very small in this strange new environment. The woman brings her eyes to bear on Jade and smiles, "Morning, Jade. How did you sleep? Must've been nice to be in a cozy, warm bed, huh?"

"Uh," Jade replies unsure of what the rather kind lady means by all that nonsense. "Where am I?" she asks in a baffled tone. Her eyes are still a little bloodshot from the previous night, almost as if she had been drinking.

The woman tilts her head in total confusion from the pale girl's question. "What do you mean?" she inquires of Jade. "You checked yourself in with us last night. And I am glad you did," she finishes with a half-genuine, half-fake smile, like she has to do this all the time to comfort others.

"What are you talking about?," Jade responds with a little more attitude this time. She rests her hands on the counter as she leans forward. Why is she so tired? It's like God turned up the gravity today. Not that she believes in any sort of supernatural.

The secretary gets up from her chair with a worried expression forming on her face. "You're at the Women Helping Women Shelter in Los Angeles, darling," she says matter-of-factly. She works her way around the side to the desk to stand next to Jade. "You've been wandering the streets for the past month until you finally were smart enough to come here for help."

Jade takes a step back as her face drops. What little color was left in her face has faded. "No, what the hell are you taking about?," she protests, "I am not homeless. I live with my Dad in this big house with a stupid white picket fence." The last few words are said with a splash of venom on their tips.

"You got kicked out of your house by your dad," the lady informs her. "I'm sorry," she says while trying to look as comforting as possible as can be expected under the circumstances. She is very surprised that Jade does not remember anything that happened during the last month. It must be some sort of selective amnesia meant to block out her traumatic experiences.

"No," Jade repeats shaking her head incredulously. She begins backing up towards the door. "It can't be," she mumbles to herself recalling the thoughts in her head of me, the angel, and the wish I granted. "You're screwy lady," she shouts and points an accusing finger at the kind-hearted woman.

Jade pushes open the door and steps into the bright morning sun. It is not cold outside. She wonders why. Last night it was frigid but now it is balmy. It must be a weird fluke of mother nature. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a pair of fierce blue sunglasses to shield her eyes from the glory of the light.

* * *

The distraught goth makes it all the way to her home on foot. She always enjoyed jogging and running to cope with stress. And she had a lot of stress in her life, so she is in enough shape to pull it off. Though, she'd be lying if she wasn't dead tired. She catches her breath on the doorstep and rings the bell. The obnoxiously cheery melody earns a snarled expression from the beaten down creative arts student.

It takes a few long moments, but Jade's father eventually opens the door, his expression hardening upon seeing his daughter. "What do you want?," he barks. Her father is dressed in a black suit and red tie, which he rarely seems to be out of.

"I want to come in," she deadpans walking through the door's arch, but her dad places his arm on the wooden frame barring her entrance. He shakes his head and reminds her, "Why would you think you are welcome back in this house after what you did?" There is absolutely no love left in his eyes.

Jade crosses her arms and huffs in frustration. "Why are you mad at me all of a sudden, Dad?" She shuffles her feet, waiting for him to response.

He sighs and says in a tired voice, "Oh, I don't know, Jade, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you got into a fight with another student and put her in the hospital. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you got arrested for drug possession and were expelled from school." Jade's eyes widen as he rattles off from his list. She does not remember doing any of these things. "Or because," he continues with anger rising from of his belly, "When you broke it off with that nice Beck boy, you started torturing everybody with your psychotic behavior to the point where nobody could care less about you." A few drops of spit fly off his lips with those last words.

"But Dad," Jade protests, stomping her foot against the wooden boards that make up the porch, "I never did any of those things. I don't even remember..." Her eyes are pleading and her lips quivering. Their relationship was never strong, but she is so terrified of losing him completely. Deep down inside she thought he must love her. But this crushes every hope she ever had of that being true.

"Enough," her father bellows with a commanding wave of his hand. "I am tired of your delusional excuses," he continues with cold eyes, "You're not my daughter." With those callous words, he slams the door in her face.

Jade is left speechless, with glassy eyes. She takes a deep breath and tries to control her emotions. The last thing she needs is to fall apart, even if that's all she wants to do right now. "I need to go to Hollywood Arts, find Beck. He'll know what to do," she reasons.

She turns on her heel and forces the tears away, rubbing her temple with a quivering hand.

* * *

Beck sits with André and Cat at their favorite picnic table outside at the Asphalt Café. They're eating some yummy-looking Mexican dishes and chatting about the latest movies. Cat wanted to go see _Piggy's Day Off_, but for reasons she could not wrap her head around, nobody else wanted to accompany her.

Jade walks in from the parking lot with her head held low. Whenever she glances up, the other students are sending her strange looks, whispering, pointing and nudging one another. Summoning all her acting skills, Jade puts on her scary face back on and glares at them. "What're you all looking at?" she shouts. They freeze for a moment like deer in the headlights and scatter quickly.

Normally, Jade would take pleasure in the terror she is able to inspire in others, but the predicament is too dire for her to take satisfaction in much of anything. She spots her friends and makes her way over to them. Without asking for permission, she sits down next to Cat—with Beck and André seated at the opposite side of the table.

"Beck," she says leaning over towards him, "I need your help." Cat gasps at the sight of Jade, sliding as far away in her seat as she can without falling off. André shows shock at first, but regains his composure within seconds. Beck merely drops his fork and brings his hands together. Nothing scares the boy. "Nothing is as it should be today," she continues, "I don't know what the hell is going on anymore."

Jade's eyes shift rapidly, wondering why they haven't spoken a word to her. Beck sighs heavily and finally answers her, "What're you doing here Jade?," with a skeptical shake of his shoulders. "You haven't spoken two words to us in six months and you come over here acting like we're all friends or something."

"What're you talking about?" Jade raises her voice and slams her hands on the table, "We are friends!" Cat squeals in terror.

André waves his hands and tells her to, "Just calm down, Jade. We don't want you hurting anybody. Just chill, girl!" His voice cracks a little at the end. He gulps to regain command of his tongue.

"I'm not going to hurt anybody," Jade defends, taken aback by her friends behavior. Sure she once cut all of Cat's hair off, but that was only because _she_ waxed her eyebrows off. Her bark was worse than her bite. She'd never actually hurt her friends. Not even Tori.

"Cat?," Jade says and moves closer to the crazy red-head. She would never admit it, but she does find Cat to be adorable and one of her favorite people to be around. It's just that she has trouble expressing her feelings. All she knows is how to be gank. The thought of being close to anybody terrifies her. Even getting close to Beck was nearly impossible. Yet, at the moment, being utterly alone in the world terrifies her more than anything else. Her eyes plead to Cat for help, but Cat just screams as the pale girl grabs her hand, and runs to the other side of the table, hiding behind Beck and André.

Beck jumps to his feet and shouts at her, "Why don't you just leave? You're not welcome here anymore." Jade has never seen Beck this fierce before. She opens her mouth to say something, but what words are left to convince her? Their faces are stone cold. These people are not her friends; not any more.

"I'm sorry," Jade replies as her head drops, "I won't bother you guys ever again." Jade wraps the strap from her backpack tight around her palm and slides off the bench. Déjà Vu from the other night, from her normal, shoots through her heart. It is not easy to be rejected repeatedly by the only people she really cares about. Without looking back, she slowly marches out of the Asphalt Café with sunken shoulders and heads towards the park nearby.

"They're right. They're all right," Jade thinks to herself as moisture begins to form in her eyes. "My Dad, my friends, it's not a lie. The Jade whose life this is hurt that girl and alienated all of her friends. Raphael wasn't a dream. This was my wish." She mutters the last sentence under her breath.

I step out from behind a tree, my soul breaking for the poor goth girl. "This is the life you wished for Jade," I remind her. My words catch her attention and she freezes in her tracks. She raises her gaze to meet mine. "You wanted a life without Tori in it. And I am sorry to say here it is," I finish my thought.

"But why?," Jade pleads, ready to fall apart.

"Tori was the one who always stuck up for you," I inform her, "No matter how badly you treated her, Jade, she did nothing to you but try to be your friend." My words cut like a dagger through her ego. "When you broke up with Beck over Alyssa Vaughn, you two never got back together, because Tori wasn't around to help you. And without Tori always giving you the benefit of the doubt and forcing them to hang out with you, none of them really ever became your friends in the first place."

"I didn't... I didn't know," Jade stutters unable to find words that she thinks will convince me. "This isn't what I wanted," she shouts.

"You told me you wanted Tori out of your life," I remind her. "This," I say signaling the world around me with my open hands, "Is your life without Tori in it. You see, Jade. You actually had a wonderful life with her in it."

Jade remains silent, unable to respond with anything in her defense. "I'm sorry you made the wrong choice," I say solemnly with a shrug of my shoulders.

My visible form fades into nothingness.

"Raphael! Raphael," Jade screams. "Come back. This isn't what I want! I want you to take it all back. Please, God. I'm sorry. I want my life back. I want everything back." Jade collapses down on her knees beside a large oak tree. She twists and tumbles so her back is up against the trunk. Tears stream down her cheeks. She wraps her arms around herself and sobs uncontrollably.


	3. It's Too Cold Outside for Angels to Fly

Author's Note: Thank you all for the kind reviews, follows and favs. When I started writing this, I never imagined so many people would find it engaging. The story will take a detour from the _It's a Wonderful Life _storyline, however. God is not so willing to restore the time-continuum for Jade as He was for George Bailey. We will not be seeing Raphael for a while, either.

P.S. I really, really hate _Eat, Pray, Love._

* * *

Day turns to night and Jade is still in the same spot under the oak tree. She has run out of tears, her mouth dry and scratchy. She wishes it would rain so she could just open her lips to drink, because she is too exhausted to find water. The alternative does not seem so horrible, either. What life does she have left?

Her body is freezing as the weather turns from hot to cold within a matter of hours, reminiscent of the desert night. She is convinced God just loves screwing with her; tricking her into thinking it was summer, when it has got to be mid-fall. Even then, it is awfully cold for the season in Los Angeles. The leather jacket she sports is not warm enough to protect her from the elements.

Part of her wishes she could fall asleep and never wake up again. It would be a peaceful escape, like taking a handful of pills. When her Mom left to find herself, _Eat, Pray, Love _style, Jade was only a little kid at the age of ten. She never got over it, to be honest. It hardened her personality beyond repair. She contemplated swallowing every pill in the medicine cabinet.

Jade closes her eyes to rest, foolishly hoping that when she opens them again, all of this will have been a bad dream. She hears footsteps cautiously approaching. "If you're coming to preach to me your lesson one more time, Raphael, I swear to your God, I am going to stab you with my scissors," Jade barks with her eyes still closed.

"Please don't stab me," a frightened but familiar voice returns, "I'm not this Raphael." Jade's eyes immediately fly open and she finds none other than Tori Vega standing in front of her with a look of worry spread across her face. Tori gives her a shy smile and asks, "Are you okay?" She is dressed in a cheerful white windbreaker and jet black jeans.

The goth growls back, "Just get out of here, Tori. I have nothing to say to you." She crosses her arms and avoids looking at the tanned latin girl. What are the odds Tori would end up running into her? Jade feels like the entire world is conspiring to kick her when she is down.

Tori's face contorts in confusion, as she takes a cautious step forward. "How do you know my name?," she asks. "I don't remember seeing you ever before. Maybe you know my sister, Trina?"

Jade is containing a viscous mix of sadness and anger within her heart. She doesn't know whether to bite the girl's head off (her primal instinct) or run to her for help. What would be the use of either, she thinks to herself. This Tori never met her before. She is not the same girl, she tortured for two years at Hollywood Arts. She is not the same Tori, just one who looks like her.

"Maybe," Jade mumbles as she chews on her lip.

Tori kneels down beside the pale girl, unable to abandon her to the unforgiving night. "Do you mind if I ask what you're doing out here?," she questions, pulling her jacket tighter around her body. She hadn't expected to be outside this long. She wanted to wear something pretty, and warm is rarely pretty.

"Yes, because what I do with my life is none of your business," Jade answers in a fresh tone. Why did Vega have to come and bother her, she thinks. Why can't she just let her sink into despair, crawl into her own little hole and die? She always has to fix everything and care. It makes Jade sick to her stomach.

Tori figures that something must be terribly wrong. Nobody else is in the park and it is nearly 10:00pm. She asks the most obvious question, "Do you have somewhere to sleep for the night?" The gothish girl in front of her is not dressed like the stereotypical bag-lady, but Tori watched a special on MSNBC about run-away teens, and she figures she might be one. She must have happened to turn on the tv at the right time for a reason.

"No, I just like sleeping in the freezing weather," Jade quips and rolls her eyes. She wonders why it is impossible for her to be nice to the caring girl in front of her. The thought of Tori ruining her play has already faded into the background, replaced by more dire events. Even through all her barbs, Tori's face has not lost its kindness.

Tori cracks a tiny smile and replies, "Maybe it's not as bad as you think. Maybe your parents are really worried about you." She reaches into her coat pocket and after fumbling around for a few moments, pulls out a cell phone. She extends it to Jade, saying, "You're welcome to use mine to call them. It never hurts to talk."

Jade pushes Tori's hand away. "I'm not a good person, okay?," she informs her. "I didn't run away. I was kicked out. I've hurt people... innocent people, who did nothing to me," Jade's crystal blue eyes find Tori's big brown ones. "I don't want your help and I don't deserve it. So, thank you for trying, but please just run along your merry way to your happy family and great life, and spend your time helping somebody who wants to be helped."

"Well then," Tori tells her, spinning herself around and resting her back against the tree, "Do you mind if I hang out with you here for a while?" Tori tries to seem chill, so she breaks her focus on the other girl, and gazes up at the night sky. "The stars are beautiful tonight. It's not every night they're this clear in here" she comments, "with the smog and all, you know."

Way to be Captain Obvious, or as Tori would say, "Catherine Obvious," Jade thinks. "Yeah, they're pretty," she replies dryly. She turns her head to face her would-be savior. The night is quiet without them talking to one another. "So... what?," Jade asks shattering the tranquility, "You'd rather spend your night here with me than with your family and friends? Why?" Jade is genuine this time. She cannot wrap her head around the latina's behavior.

"I don't know, you seem like you could use a friend," Tori says with a shrug of her shoulder. She stretches her legs and brushes some of the bark off her hair. She hopes there are no bugs left in the tree that could climb onto her and into her clothes. She hates spiders and has been afraid of them ever since she saw _Arachnophobia _as a kid.

"I'm not your friend," Jade replies out of instinct, tucking her legs against her body and curling into an upright fetal position.

Tori frowns but remembers from the documentary that run-aways often lash out unnecessarily at the world. "That's okay," Tori tells her, "You don't have to be my friend if you don't want to be." Just be kind, and sympathize with what they are feeling, the documentary told her.

Not paying any attention to what Tori was just saying, Jade quips out of order, "Or, maybe you just have really lousy friends." Tori gives her a confounded look. Jade groans and restates her sarcastic comment, "Maybe you don't mind calling me a 'friend' because yours are so terrible." The ice princess cracks a small smile.

Tori returns with a grin of her own, and moves her arm in attempt to straighten her back into a more comfortable position, but ends up brushing Jade's hand by accident. Her skin is cold like a vampire's. "Oh my God," Tori exclaims, "You're freezing!"

"You get used to it," Jade returns morbidly. Being quite the gentleman, Tori leans forward and pulls her arms out of her jacket and wraps it around Jade's shoulders. Shocked, Jade shouts out, "What the hell are you doing?," pulling away from the latin girl. Yet, Tori is too persistent and grabs the pale-skinned girl, holding the jacket in place.

"It's freezing out and you're gonna catch a cold," Tori reprimands the stubborn Jade, using her babysitting tone. It always works.

Jade gives in and sits still."Aren't you going to catch a cold then?," Jade mutters under her breath. The new layer of clothing does feel nice. It's not much, but it helps a little.

"Probably, but my sister Trina is going to be coming by to pick me up any minute, so it's not such a big deal," the tan girl answers. "Besides, I think you need it a little more than I do."

Jade bites her tongue and forces herself to mumble a short and timid, "Thank you," causing Tori to smile.

"Listen, why don't you come back with me?," Tori offers to the lost soul. "I've got a nice warm home, with a fireplace and everything. Even though we rarely get to use it. It's normally never this cold." Jade's scrunches her face in contemplation. "I can make you a cup of hot chocolate," Tori adds with wide and hopeful eyes, sweetening the deal.

Jade cannot deny that she loves hot chocolate, and a cup of some right now would be like a little slice of heaven. "I do like chocolate," she admits to Tori, who is nodding to give encouragement. "Well," Jade says, "if I stay here too much longer you're going to want to stay, and then you're gonna get sick." It's never easy for the girl to drop her ego-defenses.

"So you'll come with me?" Tori beams, a little surprised the goth caved in so quickly. Guess she really needs a place to stay, Tori reasons.

"Are you sure it'll be okay with your parents if I come over?," Jade says giving the other girl a chance to get out of the invitation she just extended.

Tori answers less confidently, "S-sure...," but upon seeing the pessimistic look on Jade, continues, "Yeah.. yes, of course. My Dad use to work at a shelter, so if he doesn't, I will just call him a hypocrite and guilt him into it. It'll be okay," she reassures.

Bright lights from the parking lot shine into their eyes. Jade shielders her face with her hand, peering through her fingers at the car that just pulled up. Tori turns to Jade and informs her, "That's my sister." Getting up, Tori grabs onto Jade's hand and tries to pull her up, saying, "Come on, let's go convince her to give you a ride." Jade gives in and lets herself be pulled to a standing position. She falters like a baby colt while trying to walk, but swiftly regains her balance. Tori just chuckles at her, which earns an angry glance from Jade.

Jade lags behind her "new" friend, feeling shy for the first time in her life and very frightened that Trina might say "no." Tori approaches the window, while Jade hangs back a good twenty feet scuffing her shoes against the sidewalk.

"Come on Sis, get in," Trina hollers as the window rolls down on the passenger's side. "The Bachelor's already started and I forgot to DVR," she adds in a whiny voice.

"Uh, yeah, about that," Tori replies bending down and leaning her face into the car. "I met this girl after work in the park," she whispers to her big sister using her serious voice, "And I don't think she's doing so well." Trina leans forwards and spots Jade standing off to the side, only partially illuminated by the headlights. She glances back at Tori and protests, "I don't want to bring a stray into our house. What if she has rabies?"

Tori sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "She's not a stranger," Tori retorts, "She's a friend now and Dad says we're always supposed to help friends who need it."

Trina returns a half-hearted smile and chuckles, "Well look at you being the goody-two shoes, daddy's best girl, now."

Tori rolls her eyes at her obnoxious older sister. She puts her hands up and tells her with some attitude attached, "If she's not coming, then I'm not either. And then you have to explain to Mom and Dad why you left me stranded out here." Jade cannot believe what Tori just said. She cannot wrap her head around how protective Tori is being of her.

Trina waves her hand and says a little too loudly, "Relax, Tori. Tell the stray she can have a ride to the vet."

Jade's face drops as she overhears the comment, realizing her place in this brave new world. But the beaming new smile Tori wears as she trots back to Jade's side, lifts her spirits just a tad. Not that she'd ever admit to such a thing, of course. "Come on," Tori chirps, grabbing Jade's arm and tugging her towards the car. She pushes the rather exhausted girl into the backseat and follows suit, wanting to sit beside her. Shotgun is more comfortable, but this way she can keep a close on eye on her.

Trina twists around so that she can get a better look at Tori's new friend, not saying a word. "Hi, Trina," Jade says with a small wave.

"How do you know my name," Trina challenges, tilting her head and trying to figure out if she knows the scary looking goth anywhere.

"Oh, uhh..." Jade stutters rubbing the side of her cheek, "We met at a party a while back. You probably don't remember me." She drops her eyes to her feet, hoping she sounded convincing.

Trina furrows her brow, trying to place her. "Okay," Trina simply answers, as she turns around and starts the ignition. "I am always the life of the party," she continues.

Jade rolls her eyes, which Tori catches sight of and giggles at. "You never told me your name," Tori reminds her.

"Oh... I'm Jade," she offers hesitantly, playing with her fingernails.

"Well, it is nice to meet you, Jade," Tori replies.

Jade rests her head against the window watching the house lights and cars pass by, catching Tori's repeated glances. A comfortable silence falls over the car. The heat blowing on her face feels Divine.


	4. Your Pomegranate Scent

Author's note: I will take a break from writing on Christmas Day, to celebrate with family. I pray all of you will have a wonderful, magical and blessed Christmas. Whether you are Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu or a non-believer, I wish you all the best during this most glorious holiday season. I pray specially for those whose families and friends cannot accept them because of their love and romantic attraction towards the same-sex/gender. As Søren Kierkegaard said, "Once you label me, you negate me." Let family and friends be filled with the Love that never ends and say "yes" to love irregardless of man-made gender labels. Amen.

All right, enough preaching. Enjoy the story. Merry Christmas!

* * *

Tori fumbles with her keys as she tries to find the right one open the front door. Trina reaches for the doorbell, telling her sister, "Our parents are home, why don't we just..." but Tori grasps her sister's hand before she can make it ring.

"I want to get Jade inside before, I talk to Mom and Dad," Tori says forcefully, still crushing poor Trina's little hand. Trina's face shows pain, so she relents. Free from her clutches, Trina shoots her sister a dirty look and rubs her paw.

Jade stays silent, not liking this feeble position she has been cast into. She is like a little child that has to be protected—guarded like a porcelain doll. Once false move and they will not be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Yet, it is not the worst thing in the world. Jade always pretends to be strong and independent, but underneath her suit of armor is someone too afraid to let another person be there for her. Brought to her knees, she has finally been forced to be vulnerable.

Tori gets the right key and starts to walk in the door, but is blocked by a pushy Trina who squeezes in first. Tori scoffs and shouts, "Rude!" at her sisters, who is already up the stairs and too tired to care. Tori grabs Jade's wrist and leads her into the house and over to the couch. She spots her Mom and Dad over in the kitchen making dinner, who just now notice her arrival.

"Baby, you're home!," her Dad exclaims, clearly in a good mood, as he dances with her Mom and twirls her around all sexy-like. He notices the weird looking girl next to her and asks, "I didn't realize you had a friend with you?"

"Wait here," Tori tells Jade, and walks over to her parents. Jade looks around the room and finds nothing different. Except, for the hand-made pillow from Tori's dead grandma that she ruined by getting her mascara all over it. Jade feels a twinge of guilt for that in her heart. It is a pretty pillow. Maybe Tori's life is much better off without her in it, she admits to herself before she sits down and watches the television that is turned to some cooking channel. Maybe everything she touches falls apart.

"Who is she," her Mom asks curiously, tucking herself against her hubby's side.

Tori moves closer to her parents and whispers so that Jade cannot hear them, "I found her sitting in the park all alone. She told me that she got thrown out of her house." Her parents glance over at the sullen girl mindlessly staring at the television screen. "I couldn't just leave her out there to freeze to death. I felt bad for her."

Her dad reaches over and pats her on the shoulder, "You did the right thing, kid," as he cracks a quick smile. Yet, her mother voices her concern, "I hope she's safe. She looks a little wild and scary."

"I think she's sweet," Tori defends as she puts on a small pout. "You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Isn't that what you taught me when I was younger, Mom?"

"She can stay here for the night," her Dad interjects, and walks over towards the living room. He takes a seat in the chair next to the couch, grabbing Jade's attention.

Jade shifts her knees and bites her lip. "Hi, Mr. Vega," she says cautiously. He holds her fate in the balance, and she hopes he is as sweet and charitable as Tori portrayed him to be. She remembers him being rough with Trina, but then again, that may have just been a special case due to her hideous personality. "I'm Jade," she adds.

"Tori here," he says glancing back at his daughter, who has followed them and stands at his side, "tells me that you're in a bit of trouble and need some help. That you need a place to stay." His eyes are wide and kind, but his posture a little imposing.

Jade wraps her arms around her torso and replies, "You don't have to..." She points at the door bending her knees to stand up and adds, "I can go and find somewhere else..." Damn it, she thinks to herself, why can't you just accept help readily for once in your life?

"No, no," Mr. Vega reprimands with a strong tone, "Please sit back down." He gets to his feet, so that he can block her if she decides to bolt. "You're not going anywhere," he commands. "I'll tell you what... stay here for the night. Tori can make up the couch for you and then we'll take you some place where you can get more long-term help. Okay?"

Jade nods, "Okay. T-thank-y-you."

"Okay," Mr. Vega says as he nods and claps his hands together. He turns his attention to Tori. "Me and your Mom are going to head up and get some... sleep..." he says with a glance at his wife. Tori moans and covers her ears. "So you're in charge of taking care of Jade here," he adds loudly, as Tori stops her childish behavior.

"Of course, Dad. No worries," she replies with a happy smile broadening on her face. Her parents head upstairs, leaving the two of them alone. Tori shuffles over to Jade and plops down beside her on the comfy sofa; not too close but not too far from her either.

Jade crosses one leg over the other and returns her attention to Ricky Flame losing another food fight to teenagers, which inevitably leaves him sobbing in a corner. Tori doesn't say anything, letting the other girl get settled into her "new" surroundings. Jade breaks the silence, "I really am like the lost puppy you found on the street, aren't I? That's how you guys think of me. I can see it in those glassy eyes everyone gives me." Jade brings her blue eyes to bear on Tori's soulful brown ones. "I hate it," she scathes.

Tori is at a loss for words. Jade is not wrong. "That... that doesn't sound like a fair question," she protests, "How am I supposed to answer that." She throws her arms up in the air and crosses her arms.

"I'm sorry," Jade replies, "It was really more of a rhetorical question." She pats Tori's leg, without even thinking. She was aiming for her hand.

Tori's eyes immediately dive to the intruding hand. "Oh," Tori ekes out, after swallowing a lump in her throat. Jade realizes her error and quickly pulls her hand away. A slight blush creeps upon Tori's cheeks. She tilts her head away, trying to hide it.

The tanned latina grabs the phone buried under a couch pillow and wiggles it in her hands. "I haven't eaten dinner," she announces, "I was going to order a pizza. Do you want anything? You have got to be starving." Tori's eyes flow over the other girl's body. She does not appear to be malnourished. Must have gotten to her just in time, she reasons.

Jade drops a hand to her stomach. She has been too worried to even consider eating, but now that she is in the warm, cozy Vega household, her basic instincts call to her. "I could eat," she responds not able to just admit, "I am starving." It would sound too needy.

* * *

Jade turns on the hot water and lets the warm heaven flow down her body. This is a much needed luxury considering the harrowing circumstances. She always did her best thinking in the shower. And her thoughts are focused on her would-be savior—Tori Vega; and on everything that she has ever done for her. She helped her through the first breakup with Beck, didn't turn her in for that stunt she pulled with the black-eye, and refused to kiss Beck even when she stole the Platinum Music Awards feature out from under her.

Jade kneels on the bottom of the tub as the pangs of guilt overtake her body. My words echo in her head, "This is your life without Tori in it. You see, Jade. You actually had a wonderful life with her in it." Her breathing is deep but short and staggered. She spits some of the hot water that has found its way into her mouth at the drain. She feels absolutely worthless, as tears begin to overtake her eyelids.

She reaches for the pink shower-razor waiting in the soap dish and brings it up to her upper arm. She presses it into her soft skin and creates a glowing red gash. The blood comes pouring out soon enough. Jade has had enough practice with this sort of thing every time her father reminds her how disappointed he is of her.

She goes to press the razor a second time, but a small knock on the door causes her to freeze in place. She turns her head towards the door. Tori's voice pushes through the closed door, "I laid fresh clothes for you out on my bed. I tried to find the darkest I could to match your tastes."

Jade lets out a burst of air that is not quite a laugh and not quite a scoff. She fights back a smile and rubs the teardrops from her eyes, before rinsing off the razor and placing it back in its proper spot. She clears her throat and responds, "Thank you, Tori. I'll be out in a minute."

"Kay!," Tori shouts back, as she works her way down the stairs carrying a gigantic, fluffy brown blanket. She nearly trips on the last few steps, but her dancer-like feet immediately react and land her safely. She is glad nobody was around to see that, especially Jade.

Tori cannot quite figure out what it is about the pale girl. Every time she looks at Jade, she feels like she knows her. Tori fluffs the blanket and spreads it neatly over the couch. These warm, fuzzy emotions bubble up inside of her when Jade smiles. It is nice and scary at the same time. Coming from latin heritage, her parents raised her Catholic so she never really believed in reincarnation or anything like that. Yet, she cannot shake this déjà vu.

Jade comes down the stairs with heavy footsteps. She is dressed in black pajamas with silver polo-ponies scattered along the legs, and a black short sleeve pajama top. Tori smiles and motions to the perfectly made couch. "Huh?... huh?," she nudges Jade, "Can I make a bed or what?"

Jade flops down on top of it. "It's all right," she replies, purposefully messing it up by wiggling around. "Seems a little messy," she adds with a smirk.

Tori whines and answers, "That's because you ruined it, with your spazzy behavior." She playfully pushes Jade on her side in retaliation.

Yet, Jade grips her by the arm and pulls her onto the couch. "Hey," she says while still latched onto Tori, her voice going serious all of a sudden. "Thank you for taking me in, Tori. I really mean it," she says shaking the other girl's hand in hers.

Tori smiles nervously, feeling the warmth of Jade's hand in hers. She nods and answers, "You're welcome. I..."

"Oh, I almost forgot," Jade interjects. She reaches into her backpack and pulls out her favorite pair of scissors from _The Scissoring_ that Cat gave her in the other world.

"Woah... woah..." Tori slides back in fear.

"Relax," Jade tells her in a calming voice. "Here," she says handing her the scissors, "put them in your Dad's room." Tori's face looks confused, so Jade adds, "so you sleep more easily," with a nonchalant shrug.

Tori nods and takes the shiny scissors from the other girl's hands. She glances over at the clock and realizes it is already midnight. She places a hand over her mouth as she yawns. Working a five hour shift after school all morning is taxing. Luckily, tomorrow is Saturday. "It's getting late, I think I should head up to bed," she informs Jade.

"Okay," Jade replies and works her way under the covers as Tori stands on her feet. Tori makes her way up the steps and gives Jade a small wave good-night before disappearing around the bend.

The small modicum of happiness Jade had been feeling fades. She rubs her temples and glances back up at the stairs. She is all alone again, and normally that wouldn't bother her so much. Mostly, she tries to get away from people, but in this world, she realizes how being alone is not very fun. She pushes people away and this time they actually went away. All except Tori.

Jade clicks the television off, tucks the pillow under her neck and stares up at the ceiling.

* * *

Tori pushes her feet into her fuzzy pink slippers and quietly tip-toes through the halls, not wanting to wake Trina up. She'd never hear the end of it! Tori makes it to the bottom of the steps and moves behind the couch, not wanting to disturb the house-guest, either. Stepping into the kitchen, she bumps into somebody and lets out a short shriek, realizing seconds later that it is only Jade.

"Shhh..." Jade whispers loudly to the latina.

"Sorry..." Tori whispers back, "I thought you were sleeping."

"Obviously," Jade returns in a low tone, rubbing the back of her head.

Tori shuffles over to the sink and gets herself a glass of water. "What're you doing up?," she asks the stray.

"I just couldn't sleep," she replies with a shrug of the shoulders and picks up the glass of milk she poured for herself earlier, resting it back on the kitchen table. "It's too quiet down here," she continues.

Truthfully, the reason Tori couldn't sleep either is because she couldn't get Jade off her mind. Her thoughts keep returning to her voice, her attitude and the way she looks at her with those frosty blue eyes. It's all so familiar, frightening and special to her at the same time. She has this unknown desire to be close to the lost girl.

Jade is quite afraid to be alone, but doesn't want to sound desperate. "Ummm..." Jade asks with a faltering voice, "Maybe you could stay down here with me tonight?" She stares at her black socks. Tori's eyes go wide, as she is staggered by Jade's suggestion. Jade decides to let herself be vulnerable just once in her life, and adds in a child-like manner, "I'm kind of scared to sleep alone."

"Okay," Tori answers hesitantly, following Jade back over to the couch-bed. Jade gets under the covers first. This is crazy, Tori thinks to herself. She never met this girl before in her life, and she wants her to sleep with her for comfort? Tori does not want to get molested by this "stranger" or anything, but all such thoughts flee her mind when she sees in the dim moonlight that Jade's eyes are big, pained and vulnerable. It is like an alien force within compels her to protect this girl.

Jade slides as far back as possible, letting Tori under the covers. Her hair presses against Jade's nose and mouth, with her back facing the goth. Normally, this would piss her off, and it would end with Jade screaming at the incompetent Vega, but in this world it feels right to Jade. She breathes in and smells the pomegranate conditioner Tori showered with. All Jade says is, "Good night, Tori," as she shares the large pillow.

"Night Jade," Tori coos. She shifts nervously, never sleeping this close with a girl before. A whole host of new emotions fill her mind.

Within seconds, Jade is asleep.


	5. Christmas Intermission

Merry Christmas to all of you! I want to ask all of you to please check out a story called, _The Holiday Girl_, by the lovely **JL89**. It is a Cam holiday fan-fic based on Schneider's _iCarly_. Cam was the first ship I ever became attached to, and it will forever hold a special place in my heart. I had been suffering from depression for years, and when I read _The Holiday Girl_ last Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning, I cried for a good thirty minutes. Yet, it was a good cry. During and afterwards I felt an unbelievable joy wash over me. The story features God giving Carly and Sam a second-chance at love and life, and it just crushed my soul, and showed me the sheer beauty of existence and the human experience. I was a lost sheep, but from that moment on my faith in God began to be restored. I began to look at the World around me in a whole new light. Ever since that Christmas Morning the depression no longer dominated me. The sun and the trees became a painting and life a wonderful novel. I believe God saved me through _The Holiday Girl_, and _It's a Wonderful Jori_ is a homage to that same spirit.

I ask all of you to remember that, whether you believe in God/Spirit/The Sacred or not, _Love is Divine_. Love is what makes the human experience worthwhile. The love between family, the love between friends, the love between strangers and the love between lovers of any sex/gender. I hope to convey a part of that in _It's a Wonderful Story_ and inspire you to love others unconditional. Love the Jade in your own life unconditionally! So let us all remember that _radical love _is the end of humanity, a love that is universal and unending. Amen.


	6. Morning Brings a New Day

Author's Note: This chapter is mostly fluff, but I like it. It provides a nice respite from the crying, cutting and despair scattered throughout the previous chapters.

* * *

Tori opens her eyes and yawns, stretching her arms and twisting a little. She is on the couch, not in her bedroom. Weird, she reasons. Her elbow bumps into the sleeping girl behind her, and her eyes jump as the events of last night flow back into her sleepy head. Tori slowly retracts her arm, hoping she did not wake her nighttime companion.

Tori takes a glance over her shoulder just to make sure, moving her head super slowly. Jade's face is still pressed up against her back. Each breath the goth takes tickles the ends of her hair. She finds it a little adorable how Jade fell asleep instantly and is sleeping so hard with her beside that sarcastic and disagreeable girl with the snow-white skin.

"Ahem...," Tori freezes as she hears her big sister clear her throat. Tori turns back over to find Trina standing over her. Trina scans the two of them, sleeping side-by-side. "Did you sleep well?," she asks with a smirk on her smug face.

Tori throws the blanket off of her, worrying much more about what her sister might be thinking than with waking Jade. "I was uhh...," Tori replies scratching her head while her cheeks' creeping blush speaks for her.

"Spooning with the stray we brought in last night...," Trina finishes the sentence for her, shaking her head disappointedly and playfully at the same time.

Tori pulls Trina into the kitchen by the elbow, so that they do not have their sibling squabble right in the ear of the other girl. "We weren't spooning," she protests with a huff and a childlike cross of the arms. "Jade was sacred and couldn't sleep, so she asked me to stay down here with her." Trina shifts over to the coffee maker, filling the carafe with fresh sink water. "I'm not gay, or anything," Tori comments.

"Relax, Tori," Trina responds with a scoff. "I was only messin' with ya," she admits, pouring the water into the coffee maker, placing the carafe into its proper spot ready to receive that morning heaven known as coffee and pressing start. Tori rubs her temples from the headache her sister gives her more often than she would like. "Still," Trina continues, "You do stare at her a lot. Like I noticed you kept glancing at her on our trip home, from the rearview mirror. What's up with that?"

"I don't know," Tori answers, trying to mat down some of her hair by using her slender fingers as a comb. "Whenever I look at her, I feel like I know her from somewhere, or know her forever," Tori admits. She walks over to counter and takes a red glass out of the drainboard. She will also be having coffee to perk her up. "But I know I've never met her before. I would have remembered," Tori adds.

"Weird," Trina replies, taking a seat at the kitchen table and anxiously eyeing the coffee pot. Tori soon follows her lead and sits beside her.

Trina is already bored and looks for a new way to continue messing with her baby sister. She looks at Jade's sleeping face on the sofa and then back at Tori. She smiles. "Though, she is pretty cute," Trina kids as she pokes Tori in the belly with two fingers, "kind of looks like Megan Fox from certain angles. You could do a hell of a lot worse." She finishes with a knowing tilt of the head.

Tori's mouth hangs open. "Oh my God, Trina," she exclaims.

"Hehe... just be careful not to catch cooties or flees," Trina chuckles as she dashes to the coffee maker, pouring herself and Tori a fresh cup. She takes a sip of the the hot liquid before heading back over, but naturally burns her tongue on the steaming coffee, letting out a short, "Ouch, ouch, ouch."

Tori leans back and laughs at her sisters silliness. It is sweet that Trina would be so supportive, though, she thinks. Not to imply that is how she looks at Jade, she justifies. Tori swallows hard as she buries that last thought behind her ego-defenses.

Trina notice a sticky note left on the counter and announces, "Hey, what's this?," as she picks it up. "A note from Mom and Dad," she answers her own question, coming back to sit down with both cups in her hands. "Went out to spend the day together at the seashore," she narrates, "all the offices are closed so we will have to wait for Monday to send Jade to a shelter. There is a list of errands for you two to run on the refrigerator." Trina's face drops at the prospect of running errands during her afternoon. She wanted to do something fun.

"We can get to those a little later," Tori says. "I want to let Jade sleep in," she continues as she watches the pale girl breath in and out. "She looks so tired... and I don't want her to wake up alone," Tori adds sweetly. Realizing how that may have come out, she quickly takes a sip of her coffee to ensure she stops talking.

Trina raises her eyebrows and studies Tori's expression behind her steaming coffee.

* * *

Jade rolls off the couch and crashes against the hard wooden floor. She rubs her side and lets out a much too late, "Oww." She glances around hoping nobody was around to see that. Luckily, they are not. She pushes herself back up on the couch, holding her head in her hands. "Okay, Rapahel. I get it," she mutters to herself, "Everything goes wrong when Tori's not there to safeguard me. Do you really have to rub it in?" She massages her sore side.

Tori bounces her way down the stairs. "What's the story, morning glory?," she chirps probably not realizing how cheesy it actually sounded outside her head.

"I'm sorry," Jade retorts, "I didn't realize I woke up in the 1950s when I opened my eyes." She flashes the latina a forced smile. It is not easy for her to shed old habits, not even when she really wishes she could. She'll be in tears one minute, and the next she's be digging the knife into your back. It is how she protects her delicate soul.

Tori frowns at her bitterness, but takes a seat next to Jade anyway. "How did you sleep?," she asks earnestly.

"It was a little crowded," Jade replies, but then notices the other girl's hurt face. "But," she forces herself to tear down her own ego-defenses and say what she truly feels inside, "I really appreciate it." She runs a hand through her bed-head, not wanting to look totally hideous and gross in front of the younger Vega sister.

Speaking of Vega sisters, Trina returns from the backyard patio. "All right, Jade's awake, can we go get our errands over with, now?," she asks in a peeved tone. She places a hand on her hip. "I don't want to waste the whole day doing stupid errands," she finishes her thought.

"Oh, what else were you going to do with your day?," Jade quips, "Go trolling for Jersey Shore look-a-likes at the clubs?" Her asymmetrical knowledge advantage comes in handy when dealing with Trina.

The poor girl wonders how the run-way knows her preference. "No," she responds sticking out her tongue in defiance. "You know, you're awfully pushy for somebody who is sleeping on our couch," she reminds the goth.

"I know," Jade replies rather confidently. Messing with Trina has always been way too easy, but she is going to make a real effort to try being nice. Jade glances back to Tori and her soft eyes give her strength. "But, I was going to offer to go run errands with Tori, so that you can do whatever you want, today."

Tori and Trina both are a little surprised Jade is being so helpful. The offer does not match evenly with her personality last night. "Wow, t-that is v-very... nice of you, Jade," Trina stumbles over her words. Tori hides a smile.

"I figure it's the least I could do after everything," Jade says with a nonchalant shrug, grabbing her shoes off the floor and fitting them over her socks. "Just give me a few minutes to get ready. Then we can head out, okay Tori?"

"Okay," Tori answers, nodding her head as she sits back and cross her legs. Jade slaps her hands against her legs, springs up from the couch and heads up the stairs.

Trina strolls by and comments, "Well, you're new girlfriend certainly has a softer side. I am impressed."

Tori groans and tosses a throw-pillow at her sister.


	7. No Place She Would Rather Be

Author's Note: Do they have ShopRite stores in California and Los Angeles? I am from the New York area, so I wouldn't know. Anyway, I know this and the last chapter were rather fluffy and uneventful. If anybody is disappointed with the mood shifting away from angst and drama, I understand. However, I really do not like it in stories when relational closeness is forced and sudden, like in a romantic comedy—not to knock that format, it is understandable within two hour time limit. So to get back to the drama some everyday/fluff chapters will be necessary in-between.

Have a Happy New Year!

* * *

Jade strolls through the mall with a large diet soda in her hand and a shopping bag from _Bed, Bath and Beyond _in the other. Tori follows alongside her new friend and looks over her parents errand list. "Okay," Tori announces, "we got the six large bath towels to replace the used, beat-up ones." She spreads the bag open to glimpse inside, making sure they got the right towels, as Jade continues walking and sipping her beverage.

"For God's sake, we just picked them up a few minutes ago Tori," Jade complains at the other girl's obsessive compulsive disorder with the list. Tori voluntarily withdraws herself from the shopping bag, reasoning that Jade will probably either rip it away in another second, or worse, smack her over the head with it. Truth be told, Jade was thinking about it. "Come on, silly girl, what's next on the list," she asks.

Tori crosses out the item on her list with a flick of her pen. "Uhh...," she mutters as her eyes scan to the last item on the list, "Pick up dinner for the family, and that includes Trina—smiley face." Tori takes account of her surroundings, trying to figure out what part of the mall they are at. "I think we have to go this way to get to ShopRite," she says pointing to their left.

Jade drops her bag next to a table and takes a seat in the rather uncomfortable looking plastic chair. They've reached the food court, it seems. "I'm tired of walking," she informs her latin companion like a stubborn mule which is tired of carrying its burden any further.

Tori huffs, but takes a seat next to Jade anyway. It is useless arguing with someone who is intractable, she figures. Yet, Tori stares at the her like she is judging her laziness or lack of stamina.

"What?," Jade asks raising her hands in confusion. "I can't sit down to have a respite?" she spits off the tip of her tongue. This being nice thing is going to be harder than she imagined, but Tori started it!

"I didn't do anything," Tori defends with her face turning to an expression of disbelief, not realizing how Jade is getting riled up from one stupid look. She really will pick a fight for no good reason. Yet, her mind returns to the documentary she watched on runaways and remembers that damaged kids might not be the most emotionally stable.

"Don't get your panties into...," Jade starts to say but catches herself, realizing that such behavior might not be taken so kindly. She lowers her head and sighs. "I'm sorry," she mumbles across the table, hoping Vega heard her, because she hates saying those two little words, and she does not intend on saying them again. Jade extends her soda to the latina, making reconciliation. "You didn't drink anything all day," she reminds.

Tori grins a little and takes the soda cup from her. She hesitates for a moment, because she usually does not like to drink or eat what other people have already eaten and drank. Yet, she has kissed and swapped spit with the few boys she dated, so it is not an iron clad rule. She wraps her lips around the straw and takes a sip. The glorious liquid soothes her dry throat. She returns a short, "Thanks".

"Does it say what sort of food we're supposed to pick up?," Jade asks nicely.

"No, but we usually eat some sort of beef dish on Saturday nights," Tori informs her shopping companion. She brushes away the hair that has fallen in front of her face.

"When was the last time you guys ate chicken?," Jade inquires with what could only be described as a chimera created from the union of a smile and a smirk forming on her face.

"Why?," Tori answers cautiously, sinking back in her chair to get comfy.

"Oh, I just have any idea," Jade tells Tori. She leans forward and rests her elbows on the table and her head in her palms. "When my Mom ran away, I was the only one willing to cook," she continues. Tori's face drops transforming into a sad sort of smile. "My dad said it was not man's work to prepare dinner... misogynistic gank," Jade mutters the last two words under her breath, "And since I didn't want to eat salty takeout every night, I decided to teach myself how to cook by reading books, watching cooking shows and many, many burnt meals. I don't want to brag or anything, but I became quite the chef."

"What sort of dinner did you have in mind?," Tori asks with inquisitive eyes. Jade did not seem like the cooking type to her. She looked more like the kind who makes her boyfriend do all the work—or perhaps _girlfriend_. Trina's playful insinuations continually nip at the edges of Tori's conscious thought.

"I make a wicked chow mein dish," Jade declares, "Get some nice green onions, soft noodles and the proper soy sauce, and you'd think you died and went to China." Tori blinks at her, still wondering what is going on inside the other girl's head. All the pieces of the puzzle haven't quite fallen into place. "I just thought it could be a nice gesture for your parents letting me stay until..." she trails off not wanting to finish the sentence. Jade already spent one morning waking up at a shelter and she is terrified at the prospect of returning to such a dreadful place. The Vega's household is more like a home.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Tori exclaims, her face lighting up, "Me and Trina did that once for them when we were kids, and they loved it. That is, until they took the first bite and realized it tasted like dirt." She wrinkles her face at the memory of how bad the food was to the taste buds.

Jade claps her hands and cries out, "Okay, well we're not going to let you touch any of the food then," as she gets to her feet. She grabs ahold of Tori's hand and pulls, but Tori is reluctant to remove herself from such a comfortable spot. Jade commands her, "Don't be a bag of bones," and uses her superior strength to drag Tori out of the chair.

Tori hasn't seen Jade this vibrant since she first met her in this world.

* * *

"Here... taste this," Jade says to her cooking companion, holding out a small fork with the chow mein noodles and sauce wrapped around it. Tori shuffles her way beside Jade and hesitates next to the steaming fork.

Tori leans in to get closer to it. "It looks too hot yet; I don't wanna burn my tongue," she lets the master chef know. Maybe there is one thing Jade forgot about cooking!

Jade sighs and rolls her eyes. She brings the fork in front of her lips and lightly blows on it, twirling it around to get every angle. "There," she says extending it back towards Tori, "It won't give you a boo-boo tongue now."

The latin girl takes a bite and moans in delight. "Mmm..." she cries, "That's so good!" She reaches for what is still left on the fork, but Jade playfully pulls it away from her.

"Ught-ught," Jade chastises pushes her hand against Tori's midriff, who tries to grab the fork away from her, "You'll get to eat some more as soon as the rest of your family gets here."

Tori tries to change her mind with a small puppy-dog pout, but Jade merely smiles and takes the last bite from the fork. "Mmm...," Jade says over-empathically rubbing her belly. "Needs more salt," she quickly deadpans.

Jade whirls back towards the stove skillfully stirring the wok filled with the savory chow mein dinner. She takes the salt shaker from the counter and sprinkles two dashes into the mixture, to correct for the slight imbalance. Tori sets places at the table and spends time making sure the napkins are folded neatly. Jade hums the "Freak the Freak Out" melody, piquing the tanner girl's attention.

"Mmmh... Jade?," Tori asks softly, not taking her focus off the silverware.

"Yeah?," Jade responds and turns to look at the other girl, her back pressed against the stove, curiosity spread across her pallid face.

"What is the song you are humming?," Tori inquires, "I haven't heard it before. And it sounds pretty cool."

Could it be that the song doesn't exist in this world, Jade wonders. She is not quite sure how her life could have affected it, however. It is not like it was her song. The better explanation was that Tori simply isn't into music in this universe, which makes her sad on the inside for some reason she cannot decipher. "It's called 'Freak the Freakout'... we...," Jade swiftly corrects herself, "_it's_ pretty popular, I think."

Jade leaves the meal to simmer on its own and makes her way over to the table, standing closer to Vega than she normally would. Tori can hear her shallow breathing. "You don't listen to much music, do you Tori?," she asks in earnest.

"Not much anymore really," Tori answers with a cheerless shake of her head. "Ever since Trina started going to that preppy Hollywood Arts school, she's been singing practically every song on the radio. And the girl cannot sing... like at all," Tori finishes her train of thought. Jade cannot help but chuckle at that last line. "She basically ruined music for me," she sneaks in with a low tone.

"That sucks," Jade offers for comfort, "I bet you have a lovely singing voice." A big smile finds its way onto the latina's face. The pale skinned goth returns a wry grin, reaching forward to pat Tori for re-assurance.

Yet, the front door pops open causing Jade to jump and retract her hand. Mr. and Mrs. Vega enter through the portal and announce, "We're home!," clearly in good moods from their afternoon date.

"Hey!," Tori shouts back at them while leaning over the counter, so as to put some distance between her and Jade. The pale-skinned female gives her weird feelings, which are both warm and frightening at the same time—an internal dissonance. Frightening because she has never felt this way towards someone and warm because these feelings are rather pleasant to have circling around her whole body. "Look at what Jade made for us," she announces to her parents, tilting the wok towards them.

Trina enters just as Tori finishes speaking and quips to no one in particular, "I think Tori should taste it first, in case Jade wants to poison us." The remark earns a stabbing glare from Jade.

"It's definitely not poison," Tori defends, "I tasted it a minute ago and it is delicious."

Mr. and Mrs. Vega make their way to the kitchen after throwing their coats down on the couches and smell the ambrosial fragrance. "Wow, Jade," Mrs. Vega says surprisedly, examining the contents of the wok, "You made all of this?"

"Yeah, it's not a big deal," Jade answers rather blasé and a wave of her hand. She takes the wok off the stovetop and grabs a wooden spatula from the drainboard. "This is really nothing for me. I figured it would be the decent thing to do after you two were kind enough to let me stay here for a couple nights," Jade says with a shrug, dishing out spoonfuls to each place setting, "You can all wash your hands and sit down if you're hungry."

"I'm starving," Mr. Vega interjects, as he moves to the sink and rinses his hands, being careful not to scatter the water anywhere it shouldn't be. The other family members follow suit, even Trina.

They take their seats at the family table, Tori sitting next to Jade, and Trina on the opposite side watching all of their little habits and body language. Mrs. Vega asks everybody, "Who would like to say grace?"

Tori glances over at Jade who looks confused and informs her Mom, "I'm pretty sure Jade wasn't raised Catholic, and maybe we shouldn't be intrusive upon her, since she's our guest, you know?"

Her mom replies, "I just thought it would be nice with company."

"No, it's okay," Jade inserts, tracking the expressions of each member of the Vega family. "I'm not religious, but please don't change your evening ritual on my account. I don't want to impose too much. I'm not like a Dawkins fan or anything," she jokes. She is, however, quite anti-angel at the moment! Jade grabs Tori's hand and shakes it a little, reassuringly, saying, "Why don't you do it Tori?" She keeps her hand in the other girl's because she thinks this is how group prayer is supposed to work. At least it did in every movie she's seen.

"Okay," Tori begins, stuttering at the beginning and closing her eyes—Jade following suit—, "Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from your bounty, through Christ our Lord. We thank you for giving us the ability to come together for this wonderful meal that Jade prepared for us, and thankful that she is with us here tonight." Tori peaks her eyes open to take a look at Jade.

Jade takes in the sensation of Tori's warm hand in her own. It's not clammy at all like her hands sometimes get. It feels soothing. It feels like two pieces of a puzzle coming together, as if each were made for the other.

"Amen," Tori concludes, with Jade whispering the same under her breath.

* * *

Jade steps out of the shower and wraps the purple towel around her body after drying her skin off thoroughly. She runs her fingers through her wet hair. Jade never puts a towel on her head like some girls do, however, because she says it makes her look like a gigantic marshmallow.

Tori brings her attention to the opening bathroom door as a moist Jade walks out and stands over the bed. Her eyes lock onto the bright-red scar visible on the her pale arm. Tori props herself up on her knees and leans forwards examining it closer, without saying a word. It takes Jade a moment before she realizes that she should have worn a shirt if she wanted to keep it hidden. She was having too much fun today that she completely forgot about it. Jade quickly cups her hand over the bloody mark.

"Jade," Tori chirps in worry, capturing the arm and running her fingers over the wound. Jade winces when Tori's finger contacts the red gash, causing the other girl to withdraw her hand. "What happened," Tori inquires.

Jade clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes. "It's not a big deal," she answers, moving over to the dresser and grabbing the clothing Tori laid out for her. "Sometimes when I get stressed or depressed, I need a release and...," she trails off, slipping the pair of black panties over her legs and under the towel. Tori tries not to notice.

"You did this to yourself?," Tori asks in disbelief. She has always been so together and happy that sometimes she cannot comprehend how difficult some people have it, and the things they do to deal with those problems.

The goth drops her eyes in shame, feeling like a dog who pissed on the rug and has to account to the owner for his mistake. "Yeah, yesterday in the shower," Jade answers candidly, "I just got thrown out of my house and I was feeling hopeless." She finishes with a small shrug.

"Yeah," Tori replies in the most steady voice she can muster, "Just... please try not to do it again. I know this isn't the high point of your life, but you're safe and warm here, and if you ever need anything, you know you could always come talk to me, right?"

"I know," Jade says as she curls her lips back against one another. "I appreciate it. I won't do it again. Not while I'm here," she shakes her head.

Tori forces a sullen smile and sinks back down into her bed. The sheets are a mess, but it looks cozy and inviting. "Come watch _Good Luck Charlie _with me," Tori says in her normal, cheerful voice, patting the open space on the bed beside her. Jade turns her back towards the latina and drops the towel. Tori tries not to look, but her eyes keep floating to Jade's naked back and panties. She cannot push out the thoughts from her head this time. Tori chokes a bit on her spit as she tries to swallow the lump in her throat when Jade slides the short-sleeve shirt over her arms and down her body. She reaches over and completes the nighttime attire by putting on the pair of plushy pajama pants.

Jade turns back around and cautiously climes onto the sheets. She flips on her back and rests against the pillows. Tori is something of a pillow freak and sleeps with four pillows every night! So there are more than enough to go around. Jade would be lying if she said she did not think about Tori in a new light. The other day she was wishing Tori would disappear from her life altogether. Yet tonight, she cannot think of another place she would rather be.

In actuality, no matter how much Jade would deny it, there has always been a thin line separating love and hate in their complicated relationship. From the first moment Jade's eyes met Tori's that first day at Hollywood Arts she felt attraction and repulsion. Most of the time, repulsion would triumph, especially when Tori was getting too close to Beck or outshining her at school. But when Tori was persistent enough, attraction would prevail. No matter how hard Jade worked to exorcise it, the trace of love always existed, perpetually haunting her.

Jade slides down on the pillow to lay flat, her hair brushing up against Tori's arm. She doesn't move it away. It is comfortable just the way it is. They both stay like this, in peaceful silence, watching and occasionally laughing together at the antics of Teddy and Gabe.

The show ends, and even though she has become incredibly sleepy, Jade pushes herself up on her elbows, ready to get up from the bed and head downstairs. Tori shoots her head up and places a hand on Jade, barring her from leaving.

"Uh-h," Tori stutters scratching her head, "it's already so late. Why don't you just stay here for the night?" Her eyes shift, nervous but hopeful.

Jade knows she will not get any sleep by herself on the couch. The warmth of Tori's body feels irresistibly inviting.

The pale skinned girl crawls back into bed, tucking herself under the covers, next to Tori.


	8. Confession

Author's Note: I hate that Christendom, with exceptions, has become synonymous with anti-gay beliefs. The moral majority and their cohorts do not represent the Gospel of Christ, as the media seems intend on portraying. Christendom, as a whole, has utterly failed LGBTQ people. I am wholly convinced of this. _The New Normal_ is one of my favorite series on television, and there is a great scene where Brian goes to confession and finds the strength to fight for his lost Catholic faith. In many ways, this chapter has been inspired by that scene.

P.S. Remember that first-person narrative is Raphael's voice. The whole story is narrated by the archangel.

* * *

It is 7a.m. and Jade watches the sleeping Tori beside her breathing in and out. She cannot quite figure out what it is about the spunky latina that has been twisting her heart into knots these last two days. It is as if Jade had been given a new pair of eyes with which to perceive the other girl—something like rose-tinted glasses. Tori has helped her many times in the past, and it hadn't stopped her from being a gank. Why is it only now that she wants to be a better person, she wonders.

Well, Jade would know the true reason upon searching her heart instead of her mind. Her life and ego had been crushed into dust. As much as she wants to deny it, it is the existential dread that her life is nothing without Tori in it. She knows it, but doesn't know it at the same time. Her ego-defenses will still not let the light of truth illuminate her whole heart, mind and soul. So she stares and she doesn't know why. Yet, she knows that whatever it is that she feels, she wants more of it. It is more pure than anything she has ever felt in her life.

Learning to love and letting somebody inside the walls she's built up is not something that I can teach Jadelyn West. It is not a logical proposition or a piece of empirical data that can be discovered and demonstrated through science. It is something that she has to choose within her own soul. The only thing I can do is be her guide and point her in the right direction, hoping she will learn to love before it's too late.

Jade swings her legs off the bed and gets to her feet. She proceeds to get dressed, make herself breakfast (leaving a note that she was the one who ate the bananas) and go for a morning jog. The crisp air clears her thoughts. The desire to mutilate her flesh has wholly passed from her mind. She knows that if she cannot control the emotional pain there is a much better substitute waiting for her back 'home.'

She returns to the Vega house and discovers that they are already awake and finishing up their breakfast. "What're you all doin' up," Jade asks, "it's only 9:30am. Don't people usually sleep in on a Sunday?"

Tori finishes swallowing the last bite of her pancake and smiles. "We usually go to Mass at ten o'clock," she responds, grabbing her Ugg boots beside her and fixing them against her feet. The other family members scramble to get ready. "You can stay here and hold down the fort for us?," Tori kids with a clumsy military salute.

"Oh," Jade simply replies, the cheerfulness of her demeanor fading. Jade scuffs her shoes against the wooden floor and crosses her arms behind her back. "Maybe I could come with you guys?," she asks gingerly.

Tori hops off the chair and makes sure she heard Jade correctly, "You wanna come with me and my family to Mass?" The thought had never crossed her mind, to offer the invitation to the lost soul. She was never much of an evangelist in the sense of being pushy and doctrinaire. She is a Celtic Evangelist at heart, preaching through, deeds instead of words.

"Yeah," Jade says with a meek shrug of her shoulders.

"Sure," Tori nods with an uncertain grin attached "Why don't you head up and get changed into something less... sweaty," she points to Jade's jogging clothes as she makes the suggestion, a little worried that it would come off insulting.

* * *

Somehow Jade got squeezed next to Trina in the backseat of the SUV. Mrs. Vega insisted that Tori ride in the Toyota Corolla with her. And for some odd reason Trina did not take shotgun, either. Jade occasionally glances at the overly tanned guido-esque girl beside her, wondering what she has planned. It is not that Jade is worried. Never! She can handle anything Trina could throw at her.

Mr. Vega pulls the car into a gas station and informs the others, "I just need to pick up some more fuel. We still have plenty of time before they start the service." With that he is out of the car and placing the pump into the gas tank.

The Vega sister shifts her attention to the goth and looks her over without saying a word. Jade doesn't say anything either at first, but it begins to weird her out, so she shouts, "What?" in her classic ganky tone.

Trina does not flinch. "What's the deal with you and Tori?," she asks bravely. In this world Trina hasn't yet learned to fear her. Jade is taken aback by the question. She understands the subtext perfectly. "I mean," Trina continues her inquiry, "The way that you act around Tori, it's as if you know her from a past life." Jade's eyes shift away from the other's gaze. "I know that's not a plausible explanation, but I can't think of another explanation, to be quite honest," Trina finishes her monologue.

"I don't know, but Tori first met me in the park... you were there," Jade lies convincingly. She is a trained actress after all, and she has been wearing a mask for as long as she can remember.

"Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean _you_ don't know _her_," Trina points with a knowing finger. When did Trina become so logical, Jade wonders. "I notice the way you look at her, and the way that she looks at you. Nobody falls in love that quickly, unless they're naive tween girls... which neither of you obviously are," Trina asserts.

Jade scoffs at Trina's comment and denies, "I am not in love with Tori!" Yet, she cannot help hide the hard time she has swallowing. She tries to cover it with a cough, but it does not slip past Trina's attentive eye.

"Whatever you say, Jade," Trina states, rolling her eyes.

Jade growls and grits her teeth, wanting to hurt the stupid girl in front of her. She is obviously wrong, Jade reasons. She does not love Tori. It is merely appreciation for Tori being her "knight in shining armor"—she forces those thoughts to circle through her mind. "Wait," Jade thinks, "Did I really just use that fairytale example."

Before she can take her inner contradiction out on the older Vega sister, Mr. Vega pops open the door and starts the car, cheekily announcing, "Away chariot!"

Trina relaxes with a smug grin on her face, Jade maintaining her pissy demeanor all the way to the church parking lot. Yet, seeing Tori waiting for them, as she makes her way out the car door, soothes her anger.

* * *

The mass goes smoothly with Tori concentrating mostly on the service, but also watching their guest out of the corner of her eye, wondering why it was exactly Jade came. This is the first time, Jade ever attended a Catholic mass or a religious ceremony of any kind. She does not know what to make of it. Most of the words make no sense to her. Though, she does think the central place of a torture victim in the decorating scheme is wicked cool.

Tori whispers in Jade's ear for her to stay in the pew, while the family goes for Holy Communion. She does not understand why or what they are doing next, but she obeys Tori nevertheless. She even kneels at the appropriate times, not wanting to be disrespectful.

Jade examines those around her and notices everyone not going to Communion to be in prayer. "Okay... God," she ventures to think, "I'd like to place a complaint regarding one of your workers... goes by the name Raphael. About six foot, somewhat good looking... doesn't shave every morning. Yeah, he kind of royally screwed my life up. So if you could get on that, and maybe get my old life back, that'd be great." Her train of thought freezes in place for a moment, as she takes in the implications of what she just said. "But," Jade continues with hands clasped at her wrists, "Tori, I don't wanna... she... ugh... forget I said anything. This is so stupid." She shakes her head.

Tori and the Vega family return to their seats. The younger sister brushes her hand over Jade's shoulder, which causes a tingling sensation down the whole length of her arm, and a small smile to appear. Within minutes the Mass is ended, the chorus is singing and they are filling out of the pews.

Jade taps Tori and asks her, "Can you guys wait around for a few minutes? I want to go and talk to the priest about something. It won't take long." She bites her lip hoping it will be a "yes". She doesn't want to have come for nothing.

"Sure," Tori replies with curiosity spreading across her features, "Let me go tell my parents." Tori wanders off to find her parents who got lost in the crowd.

Jade works her way over to the priest and waits until everyone else has finished saying 'hello.' She wonders how it is that priests can wear a uniform that looks like a dress, but that cross-dressing is not considered okay. "Hi," she says softly, shaking those dissenting thoughts out of her head.

"Well, hello to you," he says jovially. He is medium in stature, with a small beard and a warm face. "I don't believe I've seen you around here before," he continues, clasping her hand in his.

"Yeah, well, that's because I am not really religious. I kinda just came here with my friend and to... uh... get some advice on some bad things that I've done," Jade admits as she shuffles nervously. She does not want to be dishonest and manipulate him, but she also does not want to unnecessarily offend him.

"Would you like to go to confession?," he says walking back to the sacristy. Jade follows him, unsure of how to answer.

"Uh, I don't know exactly what that is," she mutters, her eyes dropping to her shoes, feeling a little stupid for being so ignorant of these matters. Though, I happen to think it is a particularly silly reason for her to feel embarrassed.

The priest takes off his ceremonial vestments, revealing the classic black outfit underneath, and informs her, "It's basically a more interactive way of getting sins off your chest than staying within your own head. Kind of like a religious, counseling session."

Jade nods her head. The priest leads her to the confession booth. Stepping inside the booth, he tells her, "By the way, I'm Father Christian." She lets out a dry laugh at the irony while getting inside. It's small and dark. Good thing she is not claustrophobic.

"I won't go through the normal procedure since you're not of the faith," he informs her, opening the tiny grated windowed between them. "But what seems to be troubling you, my child," he says rubbing his beard.

"Do you believe in angels, Father?," Jade asks him, shifting and trying to get comfortable.

"I suppose I do," Father Christian replies, "the biblical literature testifies to the idea that there are messengers and intermediaries between the ineffable God and finite man. Why do you ask?"

Jade bites her tongue, unsure of how honest she should be. She decides to take a dive off the precipice and hope that she will end up with wings to fly. Faith in the impossible is what religion is all about, she figures, so if anybody, he is the most likely person to believe. "This is gonna sound crazy, but I don't belong in your world," Jade rolls the words slowly off her tongue, "I was pissed at my... friend... Tori, and I wish that she and I were never friends. An angel... as insane as it sounds... came to me calling himself 'Raphael' and told me that God was going to grant my wish. When I woke up, nothing in my life was the same. All the people in my life were different and didn't know me at all." Jade takes a pause and lets out a small breath.

"I don't mean to be a jerk, but do you have a history of illness or anything like that... some kind of medications you stopped taking recently," Father Christians asks her, rather straightforwardly.

Jade scoffs and gets to her feet, shouting, "I knew you wouldn't believe me. This was a mistake."

I pour my spirit upon his and fill the cavities of his soul with an unconscious realization of the truth. "Wait," he replies, "I'm sorry. Please sit back down." She obeys but not before letting out an audible groan. "Tell me whatever you feel you need to tell me, and I promise I will answer you to the best of my ability." He is not sure why he feels the need to continue, but feels in the depths of his being that there is a possibility she is actually telling the truth.

"Okay," Jade begins telling her story again with a faltering and broken tone, "He said the reason I'm trapped in this sorry state was because Tori's the one who made my life good. Without her, I am left alone. But then, Tori found me again, crying in the park in your world. She wouldn't leave without me, even when I tried to bite her head off, and took me back to her warm home. So, I guess if I had to make any sort of confession to God, or whatever, it would be that I am sorry for treating her so badly in my past life." She presses her lips between her teeth. "I always pick on her and tear her down, but I shouldn't... she's sweet and kind, funny, talented, smart, strong and... and just amazing. And I'm sorry for ever hurting her." Tears begin to well up in the goth's eyes.

Father Christian can hear the saddening of her voice. He leans forward so that his face is clearly visible through the grated window, "The first step in making amends for your transgression is acknowledging what you've done wrong. And it seems like you are intimately aware of that part. You feel guilty for treating this Tori girl badly."

"But where do I go from here, Father?" Jade chokes out in the clearest voice she can muster, without sounding like she is crying. Her pride still prevents her from wanting to appear weak. So far, that is a barrier only the latin girl can penetrate.

"Start with Tori," Father Christian advises, boring his eyes into hers, "If what you say is true, then she is the central thread in the tapestry of your life. And if what you say about her is true, that she is such an amazing girl, I'd think you want to become closer to her anyway. If there is any hope in recovering what you lost, then you have to begin with her." He takes a pause and gives her a further clue, "St. Raphael is the angel of journeys, healing and matchmaking, so it does not surprise me that he would be the one to appear to you."

Jade's eyes display a faint spark of hope. "Okay, thank you," she says, "I've taken up enough of your time."

"Oh, please don't worry about that," he replies, "You can have more if you need to talk it out."

"No, I'm good," she replies curtly but amiably. "I figure if I stay too long in a Church I might combust into flames," Jade finishes with a joke.

He simple smiles."In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, I absolve you of your sins," he blesses with a strong, Mosaic voice. "Go in peace my child, and good luck," he adds softly.

With that, Jade opens the door and hops out of the booth, using the sides of the doorpost to hold onto. She trots out into the parking lot and finds Tori standing on the sidewalk waiting for her. She wipes the moisture from her eyes and shakes her head. Jade bravely wraps an arm around Tori's shoulder, much to her surprise, and declares, "Let's go Vega. I've got something special planned for us today."


	9. Cotton Candy Love

Author's note: Victorious has become so much more than a television series for me. It is a living, breathing community of fans and friends that make it simply amazing. I haven't even watched season 4, because quite honestly, I do not really care about it. So, for me, the last episode is _Tori Goes Platinum_. The Jori community that I have known and loved is Victorious for me. I look forward more to the next fan-fic than I do to the next episode. You guys make it all worthwhile. 3

P.S. Shawn Roberts is the actor who plays Albert Wesker in the _Resident Evil_ films.

* * *

Jade has Tori blindfolded in the passenger seat of Trina's car—not as naughty as it sounds—while she sits behind the wheel humming along to the radio. Much to the pale girl's surprise, Trina gave her the keys when she asked if Trina could drive them someplace. Not only that, but Trina actually gave her forty dollars telling Jade she could pay her back whenever she gets on her feet. Trina wanted to make Tori happy and it seemed like Jade had that effect on her sister. Ever since the breakup with Daniel, Trina hadn't seen Tori so happy or comfortable as she was with the enigmatic stray.

"Are we there yet?," Tori pesters like a petulant child while she adjusts her blindfold. They have been driving for at least a half-hour and the blindfold was getting hot and sweaty, and maybe a little itchy. She scratches at the material.

"Yes," Jade retorts in an annoyed tone as she turns the wheel to pull into the narrow parking spot. "You can stop your immature whining. I'll take it off in a second," she says as she drops the transmission into park and turns the key to shut off the engine. Tori just snickers from the reaction she got out of Jade.

Like a true gentleman, Jade swings around the front of the car and opens Tori's door for her, leading the tan girl out of the car with a sturdy hand. She moves behind Tori and starts to untie her blindfold. "You're not taking me to a ditch that you can bury me in are you?," Tori jokes for some reason she cannot pinpoint. It felt like the right joke to make. Must be more of that déjà vu, she figures.

Tori opens her eyes and smiles at the sight of a large carnival set up next to a boardwalk. She is not familiar with this area at all. "Oh, my God Jade, what is this place?" she exclaims.

"Oh, it's just an out-of-the-way place I used to come to with my Mom," Jade answers the girl with the wide, gleaming eyes, "No big deal."

"But I haven't been to the fair in forever," Tori informs her. She grabs Jade's hand and drags her up the wooden ramp excitedly. Normally, Jade would just scoff and insult her, but this is a brave new world. So, all Jade can do is laugh at the latin girl's sugary-sweet antics.

They spend the rest of the afternoon going on rides like Moby Dick and the Wild Mouse. It is amazing Tori did not throw up that hotdog she ate with sauerkraut for lunch from one of the concession stands. She almost vomited after getting off the Wild Mouse, which amused her sadistic companion to no end, but Jade settled her stomach by getting the girl a Sprite. It was kind of nice for Jade to give into the compassionate side of her personality she never knew existed. Well, except for adorable bunny rabbits. She couldn't resist them no matter how hard she tried.

Tori throws the last dart and fails to pop any of the balloons in front of her. "Darn," she says as she droops her shoulders and turns to face Jade. She skids her sneaker against the boardwalk and takes a glance back at the pink unicorn she hoped to win. "Better luck next time," the young man working the game tells her.

Jade gives her a reassuring pat on the arm and steps up to the booth thumping the four dollars down on the counter with her fist. Tori watches as the man hands Jade the three darts. Jade backs up a few inches and loosens up her posture. She throws the first dart with alacrity popping a red balloon. Tori cracks a small smile. Jade throws the second dart and pops the yellow balloon below the first one with equal ease. Tori raises her eyebrows, amazed. Jade effortlessly tosses the last dart and pops a blue balloon, completing the perfect line. She spins on her heels once fully around and claps her hands together in triumph.

"Give me the pink unicorn," Jades commands the man. He reaches up to the highest shelf and grabs the stuffed animal, handing it to the smug goth, who nestles it against her chest.

"Oh my God," Tori shrieks in excitement, "You were so cool. You showed those balloons who's boss without even blinking." She gives the other girl a congratulatory fist-bump on the shoulder, trying to be all ghetto.

Jade extends the unicorn out to Tori. The brunette's mouth drops open in shock that Jade is offering her the stuffed animal. "Here, I think you want this more than me," Jade tells her surely.

"But, you won it Jade," the tanner girl replies, "You should keep it. It's rightfully yours." Tori is doing the noble thing, giving the other person a chance to get out of their offer.

"I won it for you, so don't make me stand here like an idiot for too long," Jade quips with a self-conscious smile. She pushes it into the other girls hands.

Tori wraps her arms around it and snuggles it closely. "I don't know what to say," Tori answers with a widening grin, and a certain twinkle in her eyes. "I love it. Thank you," she ends up finding the words. In a moment of bravery, Tori leans forward and wraps her arms around the raven-haired girl, in a cautious and awkward hug. Jade freezes, too stunned to move her arms and hug back. Tori's embrace feels cozy and comforting. She doesn't want it to end, but Tori quickly pulls away and brushes a strand of hair from her face, a blush working its way onto her cheeks.

The sun begins to set and the duo make their way to a Tikki Bar which is really an extended pier that sits right over the crashing waves on the beach. Normally, Jade would use a fake idea to get some adult drinks, but she doesn't bother being Tori is with her. Tori tells Jade to go get a table while she gets a cranberry and seltzer for her bitter and sarcastic personality and a cherry juice for herself, for her sweet personality, at the bar.

Jade plops down at a bar stool overlooking the ocean and the beautiful sunset. It's very romantic, she thinks to herself, which she has a hard time pretending doesn't mean anything. She wonders what is taking the tardy latina so long, and glances over at the bar. She spots Tori chatting up some tall, handsome looking boy. Tori points over towards Jade and walks back to the table, giving the boy the one-minute sign with her finger. Butterflies form in the pit of Jade's stomach, afraid of what will happen next.

Tori locks her hand around the other girl's wrist and drags her towards the bar. "What the hell, Tori?," Jade protests while trying to loosen herself from the other girl's surprisingly powerful grip. "This is my way of saying 'thank you' for showing me a fun day, today," Tori answers the rhetorical question. She lets go after parking the girl in front of the cute boy she was talking to a minute ago.

"Jade this is Matt, Matt this is Jade," Tori introduces the two in rapid-fire succession with overemphatic hand gestures. "Bye!" she waves and quickly backs away, leaving the two alone.

"So, your friend tells me you're a really talented singer, and really sweet and kind," Matt starts off the conversation in a secure tone and with a jovial chuckle. It seems like he is used to chatting up girls on the weekend.

"Well, she lied," Jade replies tartly. She runs a hand through her hair, trying to contain her disappointment and not take it out on an innocent boy. "Listen, you seem like a nice guy and not creepy like most boys I've met at bars," he smiles at the complement, "But I kind of already like somebody."

"So who is the lucky guy?," he asks genially. What's one girl slipping through your fingers when you tend to hit on at least three girls per night. He can just move onto one of the drunker girls, though, he seems like he might be too decent a guy to take advantage.

"Uh, you just met her a second ago," Jade mutters, tilting her head to glance back at Tori who is sipping her drink and lamely gives the thumbs up. Jade turns back and cannot help a smile from creeping onto her pale face. She shakes her head at the ridiculous effect Tori is beginning to have on her.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he rolls the words off his tongue with a nonchalance, "When your friend introduced you I just..." Matt looks Jade once over, taking in every aspect of her appearance. "I should have seen it," he adds, "Yeah, you definitely got the lesbian vibe going on."

Jade rolls her eyes and scoffs. "I'm not gay," she defends, "The only girl I ever kissed was when I was ten. Tori's just special, you know?" She twists her hands together, wondering if she sounds like a totally crazy person.

"Hey, just because you don't have game..." he kids which earns him another eye roll. He ignores it and takes a sip of beer. "Why is she setting me up with you then?," he further inquires.

"Because, she doesn't feel the same way about me," Jade unwillingly answers, a frown making its way unto her visage, "I thought she might be starting to, but this whole setting me up with you thing, was kind of a slap in the face... no offense."

"None taken," Matt replies with an agreeing nod of the head. "Come on," he announces and grabs her by the wrist, dragging her along.

"Uh," Jade groans and exclaims, "Why does this keep happening to me, today? I am not a pony. This is not pleasant." Regardless of her protests, she doesn't put up a fight.

Matt pulls her back over to Tori, and walks closer to the latin girl. "Hey, Tor," he begins with a confident and smooth tone, "I appreciate you setting me up with a fox like Jade." He takes a little too long look at Jade and continues, "But I think she really just needs a friend now, so why don't you hang out with her for the rest of the night."

"Oh, okay," Tori replies in a semi-shocked voice, shifting her eyes between Matt and Jade. Jade is not so disagreeable that she could have chased him away that quickly, she reasons. She's actually kind of sweet once you peal away her hard exterior and get to the tootsie roll center.

Matt leans over and whispers in Jade's ear, "Good luck. I'm sure she'll come around. Everybody's a little gay, like me with Shawn Roberts." Jade gives him a dry laugh and with that he is shuffles his way back to the bar and orders himself a drink with his fake id.

The rest of the night Jade dances with Tori to all the good rock songs on the radio, being a little cautious in her proximity to the sticky sweet girl, but occasionally pushing the boundaries once and a while if the song calls for it.

* * *

Jade munches on a giant puff of pink cotton candy, laying sprawled out over Tori's bed. She showered first and is waiting for Tori to get out of the bathroom. Tori always remembers to lay out dark-themed pajamas for her night-time companion. This time she picked out a black and blue top with soft, gray pajama bottoms that fit nicely against Jade's skin. They're the exact same height, so they can pretty much share a wardrobe, even if Tori did buy some incredibly cheery summer outfits that were too much for Jadelyn to take.

Tori opens the bathroom door letting all the warm, steamy air rush out. Yet, it is still a little chilly in the bedroom. Jade rubs her arms like she's trying to start a fire as she places another piece of cotton candy into her mouth. She hears Tori spit out in an overly verbose, comic sort of way, and then promptly skip into the bedroom, all teeth and sunshine.

"Why are you so happy?," Jade teases, pushing her back up against the pillow to sit up a little higher. Tori wears a yellow top and a purple bottom, but today the hideous (from her stringent aesthetic point-of-view) does not bother her. In fact, she thinks it looks kind of cute over her darker skin.

"Because of you," Tori reminds Jade, fixing her hair in the dresser mirror. She grabs the pink unicorn off the bureau top and spins around. "Seriously, thank you, Jade. I haven't had fun like that in a long time," she adds, letting the unicorn dangle in her hands in front of her body. Tori waddles her way over to the bed, dragging her feet on the carpet, and plops down next to the other girl, dropping the unicorn in between them.

Tori eyes the cotton candy, which is nearly gone. "You can have a piece," Jade informs her, "Just don't drool all over it salivating like that."

"No," Tori whines, "I just brushed my teeth." She sits up with her legs curled underneath her body.

Jade rips a piece of cotton candy and shoves it into the unsuspecting latina's mouth. Tori cries out in shock, "Hey!" but swallows it anyway. "Oh, who am I kidding? It's so good!," she says too loudly. "But now I have to brush again," she grumbles and collapses face first into the covers.

"That's why I waited until I was done to brush," Jade announces proudly, "But I'm a smart person," she quips, smacking Tori on the back and hopping to her feet. She walks into the bathroom and turns the sink on.

Tori follows her in a few seconds and mock-angrily grabs her tooth brush to showcase her displeasure to the girl who seduced her with cotton candy. Jade ignores it and finishes brushing her teeth. She pours a cap-full of mouthwash and after rinsing returns to the bed, where she hopes she can spend the night. Sleeping with Tori is... comforting.

Tori crawls up beside Jade and shuts off the tv with the clicker. She rolls over to look her in the face. They're at least a foot apart, but can feel the other's breath tickle their skin. "Hey, can I ask you a question," Tori coos.

"Uh, you just did," Jade retorts.

Tori just clicks her teeth and ignores that remark. "Do we know each other from somewhere?," she asks in her serious voice, which is deep, soft and a little huskier.

"What do you mean?," Jade plays dumb, awkwardly shifting against the sheets and looking anywhere but at the latin girl.

"Well, it sounds crazy, but every time I look at you, I feel like I know you for a lifetime," Tori admits, carefully studying the pale face in front of her like she is solving the riddle of the sphinx. "Like, I know that you would hate wearing bright colors, and only want dark p.j.'s, even though you never told me so," she decides to give a concrete example.

"Maybe that's just because I give off the scary goth vibe," Jade stutters suspiciously and flops a hand down on the sheets.

"No," Tori shakes her head, "Because I know things there is no possible way I should be able to know." She rubs her legs against the sheets gaining the courage to eek out the next sentence, "I know your last name is West, even though you never told me it."

Jade shifts her eyes back and forth and makes them go wide, as if to say she doesn't know why. She follows with a nervous shrug for good measure. "I don't know Tori," she lies, "Maybe you're psychic or something." Jade notices that Tori's face becomes saddened, which causes an effect opposite the happiness she used to feel when she was miserable (and she was the cause of that misery). She hoped Jade knew the secret of the sphinx. "But, I feel it too," Jade decides to admit. She places her hand over Tori's and continues, "I feel so close to you, and I don't know why."

Jade begins to play with the Tori's hand, clasping it to her own. She inches forward, closing the distance between them. "I'm really glad you saved my life," Jade whispers. She leans forward and wraps her arms around Tori, reluctantly pulling back before it gets too weird. She clears her throat.

"Good night," Tori murmurs.

Their hands still brush up against each other and the contact is too much for Jade. She leans in and presses her lips to Tori's. She can taste the cotton candy balm she put on before bed. The kiss is soft and tender, and in a moment, Tori moves her lips back against Jade's dry mouth. Her breath hitches and she reluctantly pulls away from Tori. "Good night," Jade managers to mutter, quickly turning over and away from Tori.

Tori follows suit and turns away from Jade, her eyes heavy and uncertain. It was so wonderful, but at the same time confusing and scary, like the roller coaster they went on earlier. Jade mentally slaps herself for being so stupid. She fears she ruined the one good thing she had left in this life.

Tori scrunches her lips and peaks over her shoulder at Jade. She turns back over and carefully wraps an arm over the raven-haired girl, snuggling up against her back.


	10. Thanatos, Θάνατος, (Or, the Dreamwork)

Jade slows creeps her way down the stairs to get a drink from the kitchen. Her throat is as dry as the Mojave. The desire for a cold beverage is more powerful than she has felt before. She makes it to the fridge and pours herself a big glass of Gatorade, which she downs in the span of a few seconds.

She looks over at the clock to see what godforsaken hour it is, but she can't read the time. She closes her eyes and rubs them hard, chalking it up to sleepiness. When she opens them up again, the red letters read, "DREAD".

Her heart skips a beat and she bites her lip. This can't be real, she thinks to herself. "I must be sleep walking or something," she mutters and heads back for the stairs. But she bumps into somebody on her way back, before she can exit the kitchen.

Picking her head up, Jade stares at Tori. "Oh, I'm sorry, Tor," she apologizes and holds herself in her arms, swinging from side-to-side. "We've got to stop meeting like this," she kids.

"Shut up," Tori bellows in an uncharacteristically harsh tone. She steps forward, shoving Jade back angrily. "Look at you! You can't even walk straight. How stupid can you be that you can't even master something a three-year-old can do?," Tori continues to drip like venom off her scathing tongue.

Jade doesn't know how to react. She stands frozen. Things were going so well with Tori and now she is scaring the living hell out of her. When Tori puts her finger in Jade's face she bites back. "What's do you think you're doing Tori!," she barks grabbing the other girl by the wrist, "You sound like a freakin' crazy person! Stop it!"

Tori just laughs in a sick and frightening tone, her bangs falling in her face, covering her eyes. All that's visible is clearly visible is her white, sheepish grin. It scares Jade to the core of her being and she releases her hold on the other girl. She stumbles back as Tori advances against her.

"You think what you're doing can last?," the frightening incarnation of Tori castigates, "What? You think a normal life is possible?" Tori slowly shakes her head from side-to-side, "You're not good enough for her."

"Tori, please you're really scaring me," Jade whimpers, as she runs out of room to escape. She decides to try to slip by Tori on her right.

With unbelievable force, Tori pushes Jade against the wall, slamming her head hard against the white paint. "Don't you ever think about disobeying me," Tori reprimands. As Tori holds her arm up to pin her to the wall, Jade spots a tattoo on the length of her left forearm which reads, "Θάνατος" in blood red, drippy letters.

"Things might be going well between you and Tori now, but sooner or later you know you're gonna screw it up," the evil Tori continues with the same sickly smile, "In case you've forgotten, you're not a good person." In the exact same voice Jade uses to speak, Tori parrots: "You've hurt her in the past, and you're going to hurt her again. You know this beneath all the school-girl crush, bubblegum emotions blocking you from thinking straight. What did you do every time Tori offered her love to you? What did you do, you miserable creature? Did you accept her and acknowledge her for the sweet person she is, after all the lengths she went to make you love her? No! You kicked her while she was down and spit in her face. You don't deserve this happiness. All you're going to do is drag her into this living hell of ours." The voice does not match the face and it unnerves Jade greatly. She finishes with one last dagger to the heart, spoken in a slow and methodical tone, "What you don't realize is, this is the world you deserve. It's the only one where you cannot hurt others, because everybody sees you for who you truly are. You belong in this hell of your own creation."

Tears begin to well up in Jade's big blue eyes, as her own thoughts haunt her. "No, you're wrong," Jade protests trying to wiggle her way free of the demon's grasp, "I can change. I want to a better person. Tori can help me. I'm not alone" Jade uses all her might and throws the evil creature off of her.

"That's right, Jade, don't listen to her," a different voice encourages. Jade scans across the room, but cannot find anybody. Suddenly, cold hands are dancing along her shoulders. She quickly spins around and looks into her own face.

This Other-Jade smiles comfortingly at her, but something is not quite right. Her skin is deathly pale and blood-red streaks color her hair. The same tattoo—Θάνατος—sits on her right forearm written in the same eerie font. The voice and face do not match. It's not her voice. It's darker and huskier.

"She's only trying to make you feel guilty for what you have every right to feel," this Other-Jade advises with a sly tongue. She places her arms on Jade to look her in the eyes. "You have every right to love Tori, and do what you want without all of these other people telling you you are worthless, not their daughter or just a stray."

That last word echos in Jade's head, remembering the condescending voice of Trina. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to give them what's coming to them," Other-Jade informs the crying girl in front of her. "You shouldn't blame yourself," she continues, "You should blame them. All the others who hurt you. Sure, Tori and the Vegas are nice for now, but are you forgetting so quickly what Tori has done to you."

Jade shakes her head, hoping she can escape this fate somehow. "She kissed your boyfriend just to make you mad," this demonic Jade reminds her, "She ruined your play for her stupid, insignificant prome and then made you prome queen to spite you in an act of revenge. She had the audacity to steal your role for Steamboat Suzy, and now, she is taking another play away from you with her worthless little Christmas pageant that you know didn't coincidentally fall on the same day. She planned it, you know this."

Jade pushes the cold, dead arms off of her shoulders and pulls back. The devilish mockery advances and says in a truly diabolical voice, "She's toying with you, making you fall for her. You should grab a knife from the drawer, go upstairs and cut Tori's throat. Kill her before she can break your heart."

"Stop it, just stop it," Jade screams to the two monsters. She collapses to the floor and holds her head in her hands. It is too much for her to bear. Tori takes a step forward and counteracts the message told to her by the Other-Jade, "She's lying to you. It's not Tori's fault. It's your fault, you pathetic creature. Turn that blade on yourself, instead of blaming others."

I inject myself into her thoughts, and appear in-between her and Tori. Before it can utter another word I command the evil Tori in a booming voice, "Tell me your name." It takes couple steps backwards, and I repeat the order, "Tell me your name," as I slide forward in the blink of an eye and touch my palm to its forehead. In a sickly, strained tone it cries, "I am self-harm, I am self-hatred, I am death, and most of all I am guilt." I make the sign of the cross and in an instant, Tori vanishes to nothingness.

While Jade curls herself into the fetal position, I turn my attention to the evil Jadelyn. She hisses like a pissed off house cat, but I advance and issue the same command, "What is your name?" as I press my palm to its forehead.

In the voice of the devil she replies with hatred, "I am the darkness. I am chaos. I am the bubbling caldron of desire that knows no bounds. I am destruction, and I am the negation of all life. I am Satan." A sheepish grin appears on its lips, as I make the sign of the cross and it fades into the darkness of the night.

I rush over to Jade who is quite clearly in shock from the words of the two monsters. I caress her hair with my hand and inform her, "It's okay Jade. They're gone, now." I smile at her warmly, as she lifts her head to look at me.

"Raphael," she ekes out, not able to say much of anything else, I imagine. Her ego is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She curls her legs against herself, gripping onto them for dear life.

"You cannot let the voices win," I instruct her as I place my fingers to her temples, "There is only one way to conquer death and that is through love, dearie. Please don't forget my words in the morning. It'll be all right, I promise." I pull back and command, "Now, wake up," and clap my hands loudly together.

Jade opens her eyes and her body jumps to a sitting position, gasping for air. She is in Tori's bed. Her breathing is short and labored. She rubs her face and combs her hair with her shaking fingers. "Tori couldn't have, she wouldn't," Jade mumbles to herself.

The tossing wakes Tori. She sits up and notices Jade's heavy breathing. She offers a comforting hand by rubbing circles on her back. "It's okay Jade. You just had a bad dream."

Jade is sweating bullets, and Tori can feel the sticky dampness of her skin as Jade touches brushes against her arm. "I dreamt that you were... you were... trying to kill me," she lies, though it isn't very far from the truth.

"Aww..." Tori exclaims and wraps her arms around Jade's back while leaning her head on the pale girl's shoulder. "I'm sorry," Tori coos softly, "You know I would never, ever hurt you."

Jade nods, which Tori feels as her head bobs up and down against the other girl's shoulder, like she is surfing a wave at the seashore.

Tori pulls Jade back down against the sheets, never letting go of her hold on her. "Come on, go back to sleep Jadey," Tori says reassuringly, pulling up against her, "I promise I won't let the monsters get you." She leans in and plants a kiss on her flushed cheek.

* * *

_Author's note: Thanatos/Θάνατος is the Greek name for the god of death, or the Grim Reaper as we conceptualize him. This chapter makes a little more sense if you are familiar with Freudian psychoanalysis. Yet, I hope it is still fun and semi-intelligible for those who are not familiar with the work of Freud. The basic intention is that the demonic Tori and Jade represent different aspects of Jade's personality—the conflicting tensions of darkness within her soul. _


	11. Heaven is the Other

Author's Note: We are nearing the end of this fan-fic. I envision three more chapters after this one. I have thought about extending it further, but I will become very busy over the next few weeks and I do not want to leave it open-ended, or be unable to update it for months at a time. I think you will enjoy the ending I have planned.

P.S. _Huis Clos _(No Exit) is the masterful play written by the French Marxist-Existentialist writer, Jean-Paul Sartre.

* * *

Tori rolls over as her eyes open to the daylight. Her sight remains fixed on the silky black hair cascading down her nighttime partner's back. She lifts her head up a tad to glance at the clock on Jade's side of the bed, and realizes it is still a very early seven o'clock. School will not start for another two hours. She huffs and plops back down on the bed. A smile fights its way onto her countenance as she cannot help but think about how amazing this morning is. She doesn't want the weekend to be over and to spend all week working, away from the girl with the nautical star tattooed on her forearm.

Jade moans and rolls over to face the latina. She barely peaks her eyes open, not taking too kindly to the light coming in through the curtains. She had a rough night, but the nightmares did not return after Tori's arms cradled her gently back to sleep. "Morning," Jade mumbles almost inaudibly, clearly not a morning person. The contrast between Tori's peppy movements and Jade's lethargy are quite comical.

Jade yawns and stretches her arms and legs. "What are you smiling about?," Jade asks in a more coherent tone, knowing fully well the likely answer; a smile of her own starting to form.

"Oh, nothing," Tori replies coyly, the wide grin refusing to disappear. "I'm just really glad you're here... really glad that I happened to wait for Trina in the park that night and met you." Her face tightens as she becomes a little more self-conscious at how sappy she sounds right now. Is it too much since they only know each other for three days, she thinks to herself. And then she says it out loud, "Sorry, I'm getting to... ugh... mushy... and stuff..."

"Yeah," Jade agrees and proceeds to pick up her pillow and gently smack it against Tori's face. "It's okay," she concludes. "I am not afraid of this anymore. I used to be, but I am honestly more terrified of losing this than..." she trails off, calculating where she is going with this very carefully. Jade bites her lower lip as she looks into those big brown eyes. "Do you believe in angels?," she asks softly.

Tori puzzles over the question for a moment before answering, "Well, I say the guardian angel prayer every morning before going to school or out anywhere, so yeah, I kinda do." She pushes herself a little closer to the caucasian girl in front of her and inquires, "Why such a weird question?"

"Oh, no reason in particular," Jade hides her true motivations with a teasing voice, "I'm just trying to learn more about you, since you're so damn interesting. I mean what other girl in the whole wide world has a Hello Kitty collection." She finishes the performance with a roll of her eyes.

"Hey!" Tori protests smacking Jade lightly on the hand, "You're a big meanie." The gothic girl just chuckles at that childish comment.

"Yes, but you seem to like me anyway, so you give me no incentive to ever change," Jade retorts, moving in closer. She presses her lips to Tori's mouth and kisses her slowly. Tori place a hand on Jade's side, deepening the kiss.

Without warning the bedroom door swings open and Tori's mom comes strolling in with a small suitcase in her hands. The two girls do not hear her footsteps. Mrs. Vega raises her gaze and freezes upon seeing her daughter kissing and holding in her arms the stray they took in. "Oh my God!," she exclaims, dropping the suitcase to the floor.

Tori and Jade jump apart and turn to face the shocked mama bear, with her gaping mouth. "What the hell are you two doing?," Mrs. Vega shouts angrily.

"Mom!" Tori cries in a frightened voice, "It's not what it looks like." She quickly places her feet on the carpet and stands shaking like a reed in the wind.

In a more confident manner, Jade swings her feet off the bed and pulls herself up into a semi-sitting position. "Yeah, we didn't do anything, Mrs. Vega," she corroborates. It might be a little more convincing to the unbiased observer had she not taken her pajama bottoms off in the middle of the night, but she was too warm from Tori's body heat. The girl in the panties wearing the other girl's cozy shirt does not make a very convincing case.

"I swear, she's telling the truth," Tori rambles in defense, her hands pulling at her hair, "Jade has been too scared to sleep alone these last few nights, so I let her sleep with me. It started out like that and it just... it just... became..." Tori drops her shoulders and shrinks in size.

Mrs. Vega gives her daughter an incredulous look, shaking her head. "You expect me to believe that," she says while pulling Tori towards her by the elbow as Jade begins to shift closer towards her. "What am I supposed to think when I find the stray we took in half-naked and kissing my daughter?," she continues focusing her attention on Tori, "How could you let her take advantage of you like this? Jade does not like being called "the stray" very much, but she refrains.

"She didn't take advantage of me," Tori retorts in a slightly more defiant tone. Jade gets to her feet, and places the pajama bottoms back over her legs, coming to the aid of the girl she spent so much time hating.

"Are you... like a lesbian?," Mrs. Vega asks the one question that has been haunting her mind all this time.

"What?," Tori ejects, rubbing her legs together, "No, I'm not... I mean I... I don't know." She tries to free herself from her Mom's hand-lock, but it is to no avail.

"Mrs. Vega," Jade raises her voice, trying to convince the pissed off mother who glares at her with hatred, "I never intended for this to happen. I didn't intend to corrupt your daughter or whatever it is you think I did." She clasps her fingers together, digger her nails into the back of her hand. This is new territory for Jadelyn. She has never gotten caught with Beck, quite honestly, because she never spent the night at his place, or did anything wildly inappropriate. She comes off licentious, but she is definitely in the modest category. People have to earn intimacy with her. "I would never do anything that would hurt Tori or push her to do something she's not comfortable with," she finishes her justifications.

Tori's eyes are silently pleading her Mom to call down. She is afraid her behavior might chase Jade away, forever. Being close to Jade West is like taking a chronic drug. The mere possibility of losing it is enough to send your body into spasms. Mrs. Vega looks between the two of them and softens her facial expression a tad. She points to Jade and announces sternly, "Get dressed, I'm taking you to the shelter in fifteen minutes." She brings her attention to her daughter and commands, "You get ready for school, I'll drive you when I get back, and we can discuss this further when your Dad gets home."

Jade nods compliantly but Tori squeaks in protest, "No!," finally squirming her way out of her Mom's grasp. She takes two steps back to place some distance between them and move a little closer to her girl in an oblique manner.

Mr.s Vega's eyes flair and she asked in a domineering tone, "What was that, Missy?"

Tori's lips move to say something, but nothing comes out. She closes her mouth and drops her gaze. "Nothing," she mumbles. She is defeated. She committed a cardinal sin in the eyes of a parent. Tori silently prays to God that it is only the shock of the situation and not a deeper prejudice of seeing her daughter with another girl that is at work here, because she couldn't take her parents hating her like that. Not in a million years.

"Come on," Mrs. Vega says to her daughter, grabbing her by the hand and leading her towards the door.

Jade's bright blue eyes catch Tori's deep brown irises, as the latina glances back. Even though she is terrified of what might happen, Jade decides it is time for her to start defending and taking care of Tori. She has remained curled up in the fetal position for far too long. It's time for the strong and confident Jade to make her return. So she puts on a reassuring, sheepish smile and winks at the youngest Vega.

Once Tori is out of sight, Jade lets out a huff as she sits on the bed. "Well, it looks like I might have screwed this up again, Raphael," she mutters, looking at her pale face in the dresser's mirror. "Everything I touch crumbles doesn't it?," she continues pessimistically.

* * *

Tori drags her feet through the halls of Hollywood Arts. The last time she can remember coming to visit Trina was when she had to perform for the big showcase. Of course it was a disaster. Her singing was totally off-key and she embarrassed herself greatly. Tori occasionally glances up at the people around her, self-consciously fidgeting by twirling the ends of her hair. These people look so stylish and talented, she thinks, as she passes by a duo playing the guitar.

Tori spots a darling little red-headed girl putting her books into a locker. Tori decides that she looks like the sweetest and most helpful person around, so she walks up to but and clears her throat before introducing herself. Cat turns around quickly, hearing the sound. Tori opens with a short, "Hi," and waves her hand all friendly-like.

"Hello," Cat squeals and returns with a bigger wave. "I'm Cat," she continues in a perpetually cheerful but rapid-fire tone: "I haven't seen you around here. Are you transfer student? My brother was a transfer student one time in the middle of the semester, except that nobody introduced him, so nobody paid any attention to him, which made him sad and lonely. So I promised myself that I would never let anybody feel like that again, just because they were a mid-semester transfer student." With that she goes completely silent and simply blinks her eyes at Tori.

Tori bites her lip, not sure if this girl is crazy nice or merely straight-up crazy. She decides to give her the benefit of the doubt. "That's very nice of you," Tori replies as she forces a tentative smile, "I'm Tori." She rests her heavy backpack on the floor and asks her favor, "I need somebody to help me find my sister, and I was hoping you might be able to help."

"Cat Valentine reporting for duty," Cat says in the most serious tone she can muster. She stands her back up straight and delivers a military salute. "Who do you need help finding?," she inquires in her regular, cotton candy voice.

"Trina Vega," Tori deadpans, hoping she is not one of the people her sister has pissed off, because that is quite honestly a very long list.

Cat's eyes go wide and she squeals in delight. She runs up to Tori and gives her a hug. Cat squeezes her tightly and shakes her from side-to-side before pulling back. "You're the baby sister Trina talks about!," she exclaims.

"Yeah, I guess so," Tori comments scratching her scalp, "I never really thought she would talk about me." She and Trina were always bickering and never spent that much time together hanging out as "friends". Tori just assumed she was the bothersome baby sister that irked her and that she only tolerated.

"Come on," Cat shouts in a way too loud voice as she grabs the tan girl's hand dragging her towards the door, "I'll go take you to her." Cat is surprisingly strong for her petite size. "I was heading over to have lunch with her and our group of friends, anyway," she continues with Tori still in tow.

Tori walks under her own power as they make their way into the Asphalt Café. Cat's child-like mannerisms surprise Tori, especially when she begins to skip instead of walking like a normal human being. She's never seen a girl of sixteen behave in such a silly way. Nevertheless, Tori does find her somewhat endearing, like a yippie little puppy dog.

Trina sits at a picnic table with André, Beck and Robbie. She turns her head and notices Tori making her way over, led by an extra bouncy Cat. Her jaw hangs open as she peals away her sunglasses to make sure she is seeing rightly and not witnessing a mirage.

"Tori, what the hell are you doin' here," Trina questions, shifting in her seat. "Oh my God," she shouts as a scary idea just popped into her head, "Did grandma die?" She places a hand on her forehead. "I knew she was looking extra pale the last time she came over for a visit and that..." she continues to babble.

"Relax," Tori interjects her hands signaling her whacked out sister to stop panicking, "Grandma's not dead." Cat takes a seat next to Robbie and steals a french fry from Beck's plate. Trina lets out a gigantic sigh, placing a hand on her heart to check her pulse. Tori just rolls her eyes and groans, stomping her foot while waiting for Trina to finish.

"What's up then?," Trina asks so nonchalantly as she takes a bite of her taco. She crosses one leg over the other and after savoring the taste, gives her full attention to her sister. "Does it have something to do with Mom taking you to school when I got up this morning?," she further inquires.

"Well, Mom..." Tori responds, swinging around the table to stand closer to Trina, "Caught me and Jade this morning." The hem of her jacket brushes up against the bubbly red-head, as she squeezes in between the two.

"You _slept_ with Jade!," Trina ejects with a high pitched-voice and her eyebrows raised. "I knew it. It was only a matter of time before it happened," she says, nodding her head to congratulate her own guesswork.

"No, I didn't sleep with her," Tori yells at Trina, slapping the bare skin on her arm with her palm. Trina voicelessly mouths the word "Ouch" at her sister's violent behavior, and rubs the spot. "I mean we were sleeping together, but not like that," Tori admits, "She just caught us kissing a little."

Trina lets out a drawn out, "Ohhh..." as she tries to shake the other, gross images of her baby sister doing _that_ out of her mind. "Still, kudos to you. Up top," Trina returns as she raises her hand for Tori to high-five.

"You don't understand," Tori says with her pitch dropping to a sullen tone, leaving Trina hanging. She twists her fingers together, trying not to cry as she recalls the events of this morning, and the loss she feels in her heart, even though it seems silly after only six hours. Her last three days were spent wholly with Jade and she feels as if the other girl's soul is becoming a part of hers. "Mom was really angry," Tori states, "She immediately drove Jade to the shelter, and said that she doesn't want me going over there by myself to visit."

"Yikes," Trina replies mockingly, "So what're you doing here? I've never known goody-two-shoes Tori to skip out of class?" Tori stays silent, and Trina notices the sadness on her normally cheerful face. Trina asks, "She's not just a play-toy, is she? You really care about her don't you?," being completely serious in demeanor now.

Tori shakes her head in the affirmative. Cat touches Tori comfortingly on the shoulder and informs her, "We used to have a friend named, Jade." She points to Beck and says, "She dated Beck here for a while, but then she started losing it. Jade was never very kindly, but as the days went by she started slipping deeper and deeper into her bad moods. That's when she stabbed that poor girl, who stood up to her."

Trina and the younger Vega share a glance, wondering if this is the same Jade. Tori brushes the hair behind her shoulders and asks cautiously, "You mean Jade West?"

"Yes," Beck answers for Cat in a disgruntled tone. "Don't tell me?," he scoffs, "You hooked up with the devil herself?" He takes a stab at his salad and brings a fork full of lettuce into his mouth, before chuckling condescendingly. Tori avoids his gaze and bites her lip, turning a little red.

"Hey, don't talk about her like that," Trina defends. She pushes her food tray towards the center of the table and stands up. She raises her voice, "I might not have known her back then, but the Jade West I know isn't anything like you're describing." Trina leans over the table to get in Beck's face. "She might be a little ganky around the edges, but she's been nothing but good to my sister ever since she came into her life," Trina reprimands, "So why don't you just shut your face?" She plops back down in her seat. Tori cracks a smile, never seeing her sister get defensive over her before.

"Beck's not wrong," André speaks up, "The girl's bad news, Tori."

Trina ignores him and asks Tori, "Why did you come here? You want me to drive you to see your girlfriend?"

"Ugh," Tori groans, "She's not my girlfriend. But... yeah."

"All right, let's go," Trina announces grabbing her purse and getting to her feet. She stumbles a little, because she is wearing a new pair of five inch stilettos that haven't been broken in yet. She rattles the keys at Tori. She might be playing the role of the protective big sister, but it's not like that entails a complete personality overhaul. Trina is and always will be perpetually impatient.

Tori and Trina walk together to the parking lot and make boring, pointless chitchat along the way. Trina climbs into the drivers side. Tori pops the door handle, but freezes upon seeing red hair reflecting in the window. She turns around and finds Cat standing there with a reserved expression.

"Jade came to visit us a few days ago," Cat coos while rocking back and forth on her heels, "She was asking for our help." She picks at her nails and without looking up continues saying, "Is it true? Has she really changed? She's nice now?"

Tori presses her lips together and confirms, "Yeah, she's a pretty cool person. And I've got the pink unicorn she won for me to prove it."

"I love unicorns," Cat exclaims in her goofy, stoner tone. "Can I go with you guys?," she cries with a wide smile latching itself across her face.

"Of course, get in the back," Tori chuckles opening her door and climbing in.

"Yay!" Cat shouts and takes her spot in the back seat, bopping up and down in the car like a sugar-filled five year old. Trina cranks up the radio to drown out her squeals.

* * *

Jade sits alone reading a copy of _Huis Clos _left by the previous girl who had this room at the shelter. She gets towards the end and reads the line "_L'enfer, c'est les autres._" She takes in the depth of the words and mouths the translation in English, "Hell is the other." Jade reads the last few lines and claps the book shut. Those four words haunt her. The closer she gets to others, the more vulnerable she becomes. She dared to kiss her best friend, Ashley, when she was ten years old, and that act of opening herself up to the Other did not end very well. Then her Mama left and broke her heart a second time that same month. It was then Jade vowed that she wouldn't let anybody new into her soul. She would obliterate everybody who tried to penetrate her defenses.

Beck was the perfect boyfriend for a long time. He never scratched at the walls that Jade erected. He rarely poked or prodded to get at her soft, gooey center. Whenever she would scream at him to stop, he would. It worked for the most part.

Then she came into Jade's life. It was mostly anger and hatred she felt towards Tori when she first caught her rubbing all over her boyfriend. For a while it was a sort of catty rivalry between the two girls, Jade fighting for dominance of the group. Yet, after that first day of alphabetical improv, Tori did something Jade never expected. She refused to fight back. When Jade faked getting whacked in the face during their stunt-fight scene and Tori found out, she merely turned the other cheek. It frustrated the raven-haired girl to no end. She did not know how to respond to such kindness.

Whenever Jade raised her shields, Tori kept smashing up against them, until she made a crack in her armor. It was a struggle for a long time, back and forth; one step forward, two steps backwards. Yet, in this world, Jade finally waved the white flag. The war was over. So perhaps other people don't have to be Hell. Maybe, just maybe, they can be Heaven.

Two soft knocks are heard on the door. Jade places the book on the desk and swiftly gets to her feet to answer it promptly. She pulls the handle open and is pleased to see Tori and Trina on the other side.

Tori presses forward, lays her hands on the side of Jade's face and gives her an ardent kiss. "I missed you," she mutters as she pulls away. A blush covers her cheeks when she hears Trina clear her throat, remembering they are not alone. Jade just chuckles and replies, "You're such a dork," waving them inside. "Hi, Trina," she welcomes.

"Wow, this place is small and depressing," Trina replies, spinning around to take in the entire ambiance of the room.

Jade shrugs and answers her, "It's warm and it's comfy," sitting down on the plush bedspread, "When you're at the end of your rope, it seems more than enough." Could it be? Jade West showing a small measure of thanks and gratitude? Tori takes her proper spot next to Jade on the edge of the bed, sitting close enough so that their arms are brushing up against each other.

"Why aren't you in school, baby?" Jade inquires with a curious expression after looking at the clock and realizing how early it still is. She raises her hand and pets Tori's upper arm, tilting her head to give her a stereotypical inquisitive stare.

"I wanted to make sure you were all right," she retorts shyly, wetting her dry lips with her tongue.

"I'm fine, Tori," Jade reassures, "You don't have to worry so much. I really don't mind staying here. I couldn't crash at your place forever." She pats Tori on the head like she is a five-year old boy.

"Yeah, it's not like I haven't been caught macking on a boy before," Trina pipes up, finally done scrutinizing every little detail of Jade's new room. "It's probably a little more shocking to be caught macking on a girl... not that I would know but," Trina continues, "Mom and Dad aren't homophobes. They'll get over it." With that she smacks her hands against her thighs and announces, "Well, I am gonna leave to go find some pudding," while standing. "Places like this usually have pudding," she adds, and is out the door.

They sit in silence for a few moments, enjoying each other's presence in the stillness and the quiet. Jade notices sadness creeping its way onto Tori's visage. "You okay, beautiful?" Jade asks her not yet official girlfriend, as mist begins to form in Tori's eyes. Jade takes her finger and brushes away the tears from the corners of her eyes, getting a little mascara smeared on them. "How could someone with such great cheek bones possibly be sad," Jade jokes, pinching the skin on the other girl's cheeks. In this world, there is no history of bitterness between her and Tori, Jade thinks to herself. Jade was never the tormenter here. It feels like a new _tabula rasa_, a second chance to re-invent herself, and she is not going to waste it.

Tori cracks a small smile and laughs softly in that airy, hissy sort of way. "I'm just afraid my Mom hates me now. You know?"

"Yeah, unfortunately I do," Jade responds sullenly. She simply wraps an arm around the latin girl and pulls her against her body. Jade turns her head and plants a kiss on Tori's forehead, which is covered with hair. It tastes like pomegranate.

"Can I come in yet?," a cute voice from the hall shouts anxiously.

Tori smacks her palms against her face and speaks apologetically, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Come on in, dearie."

Cat cautiously peaks her head around the corner, her red locks drooping off the side of her face. Like an outdoor cat creeping closer and closer to a food bowl left on the porch, Cat enters the room. Her steps are light.

Once Cat is standing directly over Jade and Tori, she tilts her head and studies the pale girl's face. It seems less twisted than she remembers. All of a sudden, Jade pops up and screams in a frightening voice, "BOO!" Cat screams in absolute terror and tries to run away, but Jade restrains her wrist. Tori scolds, "Jaaaddee!"

In a sudden reversal of persona, Jade pulls Cat closer and wraps her arms around her in an embrace. The poor red-head is so confused. Jade tightens her hug, squeezing her like she is going out of style. "I was just messin' with you," Jade informs, "We all need to have a little fun." With a smile from Tori, Cat gains the confidence to hug her long-lost friend back. "I'm so glad you're here, Kitty Cat. You broke my heart when you shunned me," Jade says tenderly into her ear.


	12. Sin, Death and the Devil

Author's Note: I am greatly apologetic for the delay in uploading this chapter. Doing an M.A. in political philosophy is insanely interesting, but also insanely time consuming. I hope that those who have been reading this will not have quit on the story. And, I hope it is not too sad. Or, it was supposed to be sad, and I really hope you don't mind that it is sad! This is not the last chapter. Remember that in Christian Theology there is a death, but also a resurrection. Jouissez!

* * *

Jade finishes brushing her hair and putting on a thick, dark-green eyeliner in the mirror. She snaps the small make-up container shut that Tori was kind enough to lend to her. She spins on her heels, resting her palms on the short dresser, staring at the jacket Tori accidentally left behind.

It's been a week since Jade was removed from the Vega household, under less than optimal circumstances. Yet, the tension has died out considerably. Mr. Vega was a lot more calm about the situation than his wife. Tori was allowed to visit Jade whenever she wanted, her Mom conceded that to her. Jade missed Tori's warm body next to her in the bed, though. Thankfully, Tori acted like a bad girl and told her parents last night that she would be having a sleepover with her new _friend_, Cat, but instead snuck over to spend the night at the shelter. It turned into the perfect night of watching movies and nibbling on popcorn—ending innocently with Tori falling asleep in Jade's arms watching late night tv.

Jade closes her eyes, letting the memories flow back into her consciousness, and smiles. She reopens her eyelids and finds me reclining in her chair with arms cross and feet up on the desk. She does not flinch, but only stares at me. I found this chic black trench coat and turtleneck combination while roaming around Los Angeles (figured I'd do a little sight-seeing while I am on earth), so I am no longer donning the priestly attire.

"Hallo, Jadelyn," I greet her standing on my feet, with a heavy thud from my boots, "What do you think of the new look? A little more appropriate?" I stretch out my arms and twirl around to give her a 360-degree view. "I think it looks fabulous," I say complimenting my keen fashion sense.

"I think you'd make a perfect addition on _Queer Eye for the Straight Guy_," Jade retorts with a wry smirk playing across her lips. I cross an arm over my chest and give what is by all measures a perfect mixture of a bow and a courtesy.

"If you ever pay attention to Christian art, you'll notice that us angels are quite genderqueer," I slyly answer her jab with a knowledge bomb. I find it amusing how you silly humans actually think our kind are bound by your man-made conceptions of gender and sex. I'll let you in on a little secret, God isn't really a male either. But shhh...

"What're you doing here?," she asks more solemnly, "I did not expect to see your face again." While her exterior gives no signs of discomfort, I hear her heart beating more rapidly within her chest. She finally found an equilibrium of sorts, and my presence can only mean change.

I blatantly ignore her question and begin snooping around the various articles and possessions on the dresser. "So how is everything going with you?," I inquire blandly. "You appear to be much better than last time I was here." Of course I know the answers to all these question, but I want her to say it.

"No thanks to you," Jade spits off her tongue following with a dry, sarcastic scoff. "But, I've been able to work something out for myself here. It's not so bad," she admits with flat expression reaching out and scrunching Tori's jacket in her hands.

I hesitate before choosing my next words. "Do I detect that someone has learned their lesson, perhaps?," I tease but the play is just not in my tone. I am beginning to doubt. The road ahead for Jade is dark and dangerous, and I am afraid that whichever road she chooses, it will be too much for her soul to bear. I fear I have gone too far in my matchmaking miracle. I have no control over the future. There is no fate for me to manipulate, only choices. I can only shepherd those in making their own paths. Yet, another part of me feels that there was no other way for me to allow Jade to realize she belongs with Tori. I do not look forward to what must come to pass.

"Yeah, in spite of you, not because of you," she mumbles under her breath, twirling the jacket in her hands. "You left me all alone," she raises her voice, being more courageous than anybody I have encountered on my travels, "Tori's the one who... not you." There is indignation in her words, but it is mixed with gratitude for the girl who saved her.

I nod my head and deadpan, "I'm here to bring you back, Jade." Jade's eyes freeze as she contemplates my blunt declaration. "I will restore everything you lost," I continue sweetening the offer, "Your father will care for you again and your friends will want to be your friend again." I take a step closer, but she reverses, pressing her backside against the dresser.

Jade shakes her head from side-to-side and utters a single word without reservation, "No." She hops up backwards on the dresser, dangling her legs. "I don't want to go back," she adds, refusing to meet me with her eyes.

"You begged me to take you back, and undo your mistaken wish," I remind her. I am hoping I can convince her to come back with me without telling her the truth. She has been through enough without knowing the dark future which awaits her here.

"I know," she mumbles, "But that was before... before I fell for Tori." Jade gives me a huff and smacks her lips together. "I don't wanna leave her. I'd rather have her than my old life," she admits, "You win. I've learned my lesson, but the thing is... this life is better now." Jade shrugs her shoulders and patiently waits for my response.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and decide there is no avenue left, except honesty. I tell her in a gravely voice, "You don't understand, Jade. This life here, it doesn't turn out so well for you and Tori. I'm sorry to tell you but..."

Jade hops off the dresser and puts her mean persona on. "What do you mean?," she growls at me. A layer of worry is clearly detectable under her bravado. When I stay silent, Jade reaches into her drawer and pulls out her special pair of scissors, pointing them at me. "If you hurt her, I swear to God..." Jade dares to threaten one of the seven archangels. She's got moxy.

"I wouldn't hurt Tori," I interject with a heavy breath.

"Tell me," Jade demands as she grabs me by the collar and presses the scissors up against my throat. I catch a slight quivering of her lip. She is deathly scared, not just for Tori, but for herself. She knows she stands no chance against me. Yet, Jade will brave all dangers for Tori when the chips are down. I admire her fortitude, but I dare not smile in my moment of pride.

"It's Daniel, the boyfriend from her old school," I reply with solemnity in the back of my throat. She lets go of my collar, and takes a step back. I know what scenario must be going through her mind. She can imagine Tori falling back into his arms and forgetting she ever held her, a girl. But it's not the truth of the matter. "He still loves her and wants her back," I continue looking down at my boots. "He hasn't been stable since the breakup. Trina accidentally let it slip that she is dating you, and he snaps. His father has a gun, and he's going to take it and..." I cannot bring myself to finish the thought.

Jade's eyes go wide as she realizes the gravity of the situation. She stares at me bleakly and softly but firmly announces, "I've got to go." With that she runs out of the room, and heads as fast has her legs will carry her towards Tori's school.

I shout after her, "You can't stop it, Jade," but she refuses to heed my augur. I collapse back onto her bed and let out a sigh up at heaven. "I still do not understand why it has to be this hard, Father," I muse, letting the doubtful side overtake my angelic persona for a moment, "I cannot believe there isn't an easier way for You to extend Your grace to Jade."

I stare up at the ceiling and count the number of specks and imperfections embedded within the white paint.

* * *

Tori places a western-civ history textbook into her locker and closes the door gently. She spins her combination thoroughly, to ensure nobody can steal the precious contents. When she turns around, Daniel stands behind her with a blank expression over his face.

"Hi Dan," Tori waves shyly, still not at that stage where they can be friends again. She dumped him, so it's not like she feels longing or loss, or anything of that variety. It is awkward, especially since he was quite heartbroken, and she knows he never fully got over it.

He grabs her by the wrist and starting pulling her towards the janitor's closet. She resists his strength and manages to hold her ground after a moment, digging her heels against the formica floor. "Let go of me," she shouts in an overly loud voice to ensure others around her can hear. Her schoolmates begin to stare but it does not deter the scary look building across his face.

"How could you do this to me?," he says in a slow and stern voice, his head remaining fixed and frozen in place. "How could you go and hook up with some slutty girl?," he asks rhetorically again, "Did you just use me? Was I just practice before you figured out you had no interest in men?" His hand still grips tightly onto Tori's wrist.

"No, I'm not... it's not like that," Tori defends worriedly, clawing at his violating hand, trying to pry herself free. It hurts. Her heart is pounding and her breath becomes short and shallow. Beads of sweat start to form on her brow. "It just happened," she continues warily, "We didn't work, Dan. It's not because I'm any different." She finally breaks herself loose and takes a step back, stumbling on her feet. She shrugs with her hands. And then a puzzle hits her. "Wait, how did you know about us even?"

Daniel shakes his head and chuckles sickly to himself in a dry sort of way. "Oh, so I get it," he says menacingly, ignoring her question, "I wasn't good enough. I wasn't better than some freakin' penis-envy dyke that you picked up off the street!" His eyes fill with rage, his skin turning a bright shade of red as the blood rushes to his cheeks.

"You weren't the one I loved," Tori admits meekly, "I love Jade." Those words flowed a little too effortlessly off her lips. She crosses her arms behind her back, and takes in the faces of all those around her. She is quite well known around her school, and having to come out at her ex-boyfriend's angry demands with the crowd watching was not the way she envisioned telling everyone she was with a girl for the first time. It's crazy and it's sudden, but she is overwhelmed with love for this girl she thinks she only knows for two weeks.

Daniel reaches into his coat and pulls out a pistol. Lifting it straight up in the air, he squeezes the trigger and sends a shot to the ceiling. The students scream and run in a frenzied panic. Tori stands in place, her body quivering in fear, but knowing it is not safe for her to flee like the rest of them, lest she be gunned down. He lowers the firearm so that it is level with Tori, twisting it sideways.

The words stutter out from her mouth, "W-what a-rr-ee you doing?" She backs up until she is pressed up against her locker, out of room, trapped like a poor animal waiting to be devoured by its prey.

When all hope is lost: "Hey, oedipus-complex!," a familiar voice shouts. Tori spots Jade coming up behind Dan, and her worry doubles, worried at what Dan might do to her. She doesn't need a knight in shining armor, if it means the knight will be devoured by the Dragon.

He immediately spins around and points the gun at her. "Who are you?" he questions, his frustration at the situation unraveling displayed in his jerky mannerisms. His hand is not steady; though the full force of what he is doing (and about to do) has not sunk into the rational part of his soul yet.

Jade raises her hands in surrender and keeps herself a short distance from him, about five paces back. "I'm the lover who is so much better a kisser than you," she informs him, hoping to redirect his anger to her, instead of Tori. Her demeanor is strong and determined. There is no shaking of her limbs. "So if you're gonna hurt anybody, what about me?," Jade taunts him.

Tori stays silent, the blood rushing through her brain making it impossible to think. "N-n-no," she mumbles instinctually. Daniel hears her and twists around slightly, keeping Jade in his peripheral vision. "Please don't hurt her," Tori begs a little more sure of herself this time.

"Come on, Dan, it's not her fault," Jade declares, capturing his attention again. She bravely places one foot forward, waiting for the perfect time to take a shot at him. "Tori's not a lesbian," Jade continues, hoping that at the very least he will only hurt her and let Tori go, "I'm the one who seduced her. She was lonely, and I took advantage of her. You can't blame her for..."

"Jade, what're you saying?," Tori interjects regaining the strength in her voice. "She didn't trick me, she's lying to protect me," she shouts at the two of them, pushing through the fear, whispering St. Michael prayers on the inside.

Daniel turns back to Tori and waves the gun at her screaming, "Shut up! Just shut up and let me think!" He took his eye off of Jade. As he twists his body to place her back in his field of vision, he sees a fist flying against his face.

Bam! Her fist connects to his cheekbone, and sends him recoiling. The gun drops out of his hand on the floor below him. Jade dives for it, but he recovers before she can get it and steps on her hand. "RUN!" Jade yells at Tori, but she doesn't budge. Daniel rams his other foot into her ribcage as hard as he can. She releases a short yelp in pain, but manages to scoff out, "You kick like a straight girl," with her hand still on the pistol. Daniel lifts his foot off the gun, but she doesn't have time to raise it, before he kicks her again.

Daniel bends over and rips the gun from Jade's hand. Tori tries her best to deliver punches to his back, but it is like cotton balls hitting him. He pistol whips her, making her to squeal like a bunny rabbit. Daniel grabs her and throws her to the floor beside Jade.

Jade quickly stands up to act as a meat shield for Tori, who is slowly getting back to her feet. "Ransom me in her place!," Jade commands him, "You son of a bitch, do it!"

The devil cocks the pistol and presses it forward. Jade closes her eyes, making peace with her inevitable end. "No!," a loud voice from below bellows as the defiant girl flies to her feet. Tori kicks Jade in the shin, causing her to stumble and fall to her knee.

Daniel squeezes the trigger and sends the lead bullet into Tori's chest. Jade cries like a demon and smashes the gun out of his hand before he can blink, as the latin girl collapses behind her. She kicks him in the side with all her might and knocks him down. Jade climbs on top of him and repeatedly bashes face in. Blood splatters everywhere.

After the devil has been incapacitated, Jade hurries back to Tori's side. She clutches her chest, the fingers covered with so much red life. Tori trembles and tears begin to drop down her cheeks. The bullet grazed her heart. "Tori, no," Jade gasps.

"I'm so scared," Tori whimpers with pitiful eyes as the tears stain her flawless cheeks. "I'm gonna miss you so much," she chokes out.

Jade cups Tori's face in her hands and tells her with tears of her own spilling over, "You can't leave me, baby. Damn it, you can't leave me here alone. It's not fair." She hugs Tori tightly, her face buried into her shoulder. The scent of pomegranate still so strong and alive. "Please God, don't take her from me," Jade pleads as she embraces the last few moments they have together. "Why did you have to do it?" Jade questions.

"Because I love you," Tori answers simply, her eyes faltering shut, "You're my other half. You make me whole." She strains a smile on her face. Despite it all, Tori is happy. "I know this now," Tori declares, "Don't blame yourself. Please don't. Promise me that. I'd rather have known you for a day than not have know you at all."

"You stupid idiot," Jade chuckles sadly pulling back to look the other girl in the windows of her soul, "I love you too... so, so much. I'm sorry for anything I ever did to you." She leans in and presses her lips to Tori's, with her whole spirit being poured into the body of her love.

They stay like that for a long moment. Jade finally pulls back sobbing uncontrollably as she knows Tori has given up the ghost. She lays Tori's head gently down on the cold floor.

Daniel groans in pain, barely cognizant. Jade stumbles to a standing position. Monotonously, she sweeps the pistol off the ground and aims it at his face. Barely thinking, she squeezes the trigger twice, sending two bullets into his skull.

She slowly walks out of the school as the distant sirens of police cars blare in the background.


	13. With All My Heart

Author's note: A thousand apologizes for the unforgivable delay. Schoolwork became so crazy and I simply ran out of time. I decided to write an additional two short chapters, to make the total sixteen, instead of the original fourteen I had planned. I thought it might be good to write brief expositions of Tori in the real world, so in case you are wondering why Tori is alive and walking around, this short chapter takes place immediately after Jade runs out of Hollywood Arts in the first chapter.

* * *

Tori trots her way out of Hollywood Arts and into the parking lot. She swivels around looking for her ill-tempered friend. There are hardly any cars, so she can see pretty far, but to no avail. Jade is nowhere in sight. "Damn that girl has fast legs," Tori thinks to herself. She has to catch her breath for a moment, because she practically sprinted out of the theater. Plus, she hasn't gotten the chance to exercise in three months with her insane schedule, so she is totally out of shape.

She shuffles her way out of the parking lot, deciding to search the town park next. She remembers finding Jade sitting under a tree there once. Jade told her that she goes there to think often, so it seems a smart place to begin the search.

Before Tori takes that last step out of the parking lot, somebody grabs ahold of her wrist. She freezes on contact, scared senseless that it's a mugger or rapist. Tori twists her neck to get a look, and breathes a large sigh of relief when she realizes it is only Beck, who followed her out. She gives him a friendly slap to the chest and shouts, "You almost scared me to death!"

Beck circles around so that he is standing in front of the latin girl, blocking her trek into the darkened park. "What the heck are you doing out here?" he asks throwing his hands up in disbelief. "Why do you always follow after her and bend over backwards when she does nothing but treat you like dirt?," he yells at her.

Tori stares with blank eyes, wondering why he is getting so upset. Why does he care so much if she shows kindness to the ganky goth? Tori is tired of being pushed around all the time and snaps back, "Why do you care so much that I care so much?" She points an accusatory finger at his chest. "Huh? Huh?," she goads him.

Beck stutters and mutters out, "Because I hate seeing you torture yourself with somebody who is never gonna be your friend, no matter how hard you try." He regains his composure and raises his shoulders brazenly, so that it appears he is towering over her, "Jade doesn't like you, and she's never gonna like you, so the sooner you get over this delusional fantasy you're always going to get hurt!"

The poor girl's face drops and tears begin to rolls down her cheeks, as her tough attitude comes tumbling down like the walls of Jericho. Beck immediately feels terrible for being the gank he accused Jade of being not five minutes ago. "Oh, I'm sorry, Tor, I didn't mean to," he apologizes genuinely, stumbling over his words as he pulls her into a comforting embrace.

Tori chokes on her own sobs as she wraps her arms tightly around his broad shoulders. "I love her, Beck," she finally admits to him, "I love her so damn much." The tears soak his thin jacket as his eyes go wide and then fall to a look of gentle understanding. "I tried to fight it," Tori struggles to make her voice audible over the sobbing, "You have to believe me, I tried not to, but I can't stop how I feel. I love her with all my heart."

"I was afraid that was what you were gonna say," Beck replies honestly as he strokes the back of her head. "I was afraid that you secretly felt about her like I still do," he continues, "I'm sorry. It wasn't fair to you." Beck tilts her face up so he can look into her brown eyes. He gives her a reassuring smile, hoping it is contagious. It is not.

Tori bites her lip to prevent her face from contorting into a frown. Her face is dripping wet, mascara trashed all over. "What do I do Beck?" she pleads with him, "I know it's not fair for me to ask you, but you've been such a good friend... and... and I just need my friend right now." Tori wraps her arms around his midsection.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Beck replies truthfully to sooth the distraught mess in his arms, "She's said much worse things to me when we were dating." It was true. Beck and Jade fought like it was a world war, and their relationship lasted a good two years. "She even sent me out into the kill-zone when the hamburger float broke down," he recalls, "She has a terrible way of showing her affections."

Beck pushes Tori off of him gently so that he can earnestly communicate directly to her soul. "You know, I wouldn't have been jealous of you if I didn't think you had a shot with her," he confesses without any resentment in his voice. A faint glimmer of hope reignites itself within her. He shrugs, "You don't know how me and her were before you transferred to Hollywood Arts, do you?" She shakes her head from side-to-side. "We were constantly at each other's throats, and not in the old married couple bickering sort of way," he informs her, "She hated me. More than she says she hates you now. But I was persistent and eventually I succeeded in breaking down all those walls she built up from her miserable childhood."

A small smile creeps its way onto the tan girl's face, and she tries to wipe away the raccoon look the running mascara has made of her face. "Why're you being so nice to me," Tori inquires, "Shouldn't you be sabotaging me, so that you can get Jade back?"

He runs a hand through his glorious locks of dark hair and simply answers with a sad smile, "I guess I'm just a really nice guy." Tori leans in and wraps her arms around him, tucking her head into his shoulder. "You really are," Tori replies, "Thank you."

"Anytime kiddo," he says, cheesily ruffling her hair like she is a five year old girl. He shifts so that he is on her side, laying his arm across the length of her shoulders. "Come on now, let's go look for Jade," he says as he pulls her in the direction of the park.


	14. The Resurrection of Jade West

_Author's Note: I am so touched that I am receiving many reviews which implore me to continue writing and to hurry up and finish the story. This chapter is the climax of the story, but there will be two or three more chapters making up the dénouement. I have not decided if I want to write an epilogue. Part of me really wants to write a Christmas morning chapter, gifts, pajamas and Jori cuteness._

* * *

As the screams of frightened students mingle with the blare of police sirens in the background, Jade slowly makes her way towards the edge of the school grounds. She walks forward with slow, meaningless steps. The pistol rests tucked into the back of her pants, barely hidden under the hem of her shirt. She marches on for three hours, not taking any breaks, just putting one foot constantly in front of the other. She walks all the way to Hollywood Arts and passes over the Asphalt Cafe. With an utterly blank expression on her face, she punches a fist through the window and unlocks the door from the inside.

Jade strides through the halls not taking her eyes off the floor until she passes what used to be Tori's locker. Her eyes fixate upon the dull, unimpressive pattern belonging to some faceless student she never knew. Images of how sad Tori was when she was expelled from the school, the way her face dropped when she had to turn off the neon sign for what she thought was the last time, flash before her mind. Jade lunges forward with all her might and smashes the locker; still no emotion detectable on her visage.

She turns away and begins heading towards the black box theatre, where all of this began. Jade pushes the double doors open and makes her way up to the front of the stage area. She plops down on the frontmost folding chair, which is closest to where Tori was standing that Christmas Eve.

The zombie shatters to pieces and hot tears begin to collect in the reservoir of those crystal blue eyes. They cannot take any more. The tears break rank and spill over the banks, running down her pale white cheeks. They pour and pour, as sobs begin to choke the broken child. She curls her arms around her slender frame and gives herself over completely to the sorrow.

Yet, the defiant Jade West flares up, releasing a bestial cry against the four walls which enclose her. "Raphael!," she repeatedly screams for me. Jade gets to her feet, twirling in circles looking around for me. She looks up towards the ceiling as she cries my name out loud, "Raphael, answer me goddamn it!" She flips a chair on its face and tosses another one against the wall with as much force as she can muster — which is Herculean.

"What the hell was the point of all this?," Jade shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Why did you put me through all of this if Tori was to die! Huh? Can you answer that for me you bastard?" Her eyes flutter around the room, but it stays empty. I am not coming. She has to experience the absence of loss — my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? I can feel her heart breaking into a million little shards as her pain flows through the Sacred Logos.

Jade collapses to her knees as all the strength flees her body. Her palms brace the rest of her body on the cold floor, as her long black locks cover her face and soak up some of her tears. She claws at the ground as if to bore a hole through it, but it is to no avail. The rage pent up inside of her demands a release, so she switches to lacerating her own flesh with those sharp fingernails of hers. After scratching hard enough, she triumphs in getting the red ooze to flood to the surface of her bitter skin.

The thought of Tori always being there to help her with any problem gave her the strength to avoid cutting. With Tori having shuffled off the mortal coil, there is nothing to take the place of corporal mortification. She digs deeper and deeper into the wounds she made, progressing beyond mere surface scratches. By the end, it looks as if a sharpened whip hit both her arms as a punishment for stealing bread in a medieval town.

It is not enough, Jade thinks to herself, it can never be enough. She reaches back and draws the pistol, holding it in both her hands. The cold metal matches the lack of warmth in her skin. She cocks the slide and presses it to her right temple. The images of her life with Tori flash before her eyes. From the very first time she met Tori and saw her rubbing on her boyfriend, to the time Jade teased her with the tickle bunny twins, to the last moment Jade spent with her. Jade closes her eyes and breaths out a sigh.

She pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. She squeezes it again, but nothing. The pistol has jammed and is incapable of firing any more rounds. Jade pulls it repeatedly, hoping that the next pull will end her misery. She cannot even scream. All she does is choke on her own teardrops, and collapse to the floor on her face. She tucks her arms around herself as if she were a fetus and stays like that for a little less than three whole hours.

Suddenly, the thought strikes her disturbed mind that she still has her special pair of scissors tucked secretly inside her boot. She digs her hand into the black combat boot and draws out the spectacular scissors. She remembers so clearly the time Cat gave these to her. It was one of the most thoughtful gifts she has ever gotten. The only other gift to rival it had to be the autographed book of Jean-Paul Sartre's _Being and Nothingness _Tori bought for her last birthday. Tori knew that Jade has a thing for existential philosophers, so she tracked down a signed copy of the book. The signed comment even sounded like it could be addressed particularly to Jade: "To a girl who is not afraid to look into the darkness, horror and emptiness of life, your friend, Jean-Paul." Jade shrugged it off and tried not to make a big fuss about it when she was opening all of her birthday presents in front of everybody, but after the party she did something unthinkable. Without saying a word, she threw her arms around Tori and squeezed her tightly. Then she slipped off into the night, and behaved her same disagreeable way towards the poor Latina the next day.

Jade gets to her feet with the scissors in hand and makes her way out of the painful memories of Hollywood Arts. The place still smells with Tori's scent. Every step cognizes a new image of Vega, but she embraces every painful recollection, because she would rather hurt than feel nothing at all. Before she knows it, she is outside and the sun has already begun its descent. Not that many people are around as she crosses over into the park where she first accepted the wish I had offered her. Only a few people walking their dogs and a few mothers pushing their kiddies in their strollers.

It is sad but all Jade can seem to think about is what life with Tori and a kid and a family pet would have been like. At this moment she could clearly see herself living the traditional family life, nine to five, the moderate house with the two-car garage and white picket fence. Anything if she could have Tori by her side. She finds her previous spot under the same solemn tree, and rests her back up against it. She closes her eyes and lets memories and wishes of Vega flood her mind.

By the time she reopens her eyelids, the sun has already set and the park is abandoned. She examines the useless pistol that failed her and ends up throwing it across the way into the duck pond. It frightens two swans, whom she quickly recognizes as the black and white swan she saw right before I appeared before her in the priestly attire that fateful night.

Jade shakes her head from side-to-side and presses the scissor blades up against her left wrist. She takes a deep breath before she lacerates her flesh with a deep stroke. A lonely tear makes its way down her round cheek. Tori was her last hope and without her there is simply no reason to go on living. Her mother, her father, her boyfriend all left her by choice and broke her heart. The only soul who loved her unconditionally, with all her faults and brokenness, left her by the hand of fate — the inevitable cosmic force of Death. She is about to press the blade deeper into the same wrist when something captures her attention.

Coming out of their shock, the two swans become brave and waddle a little ways up the bank and stare at her with their tiny eyes, tilting their heads to gain a better view. Then something amazing happens. Jade swears that the black swan kisses the white swan on the nose. She finally realizes that the swans are her and Tori. Jade is the darkness, the rough one, the damaged and the bad. Tori is the light, the kind one, the whole and the good. It has been Tori all along. Through all the pain and the sorrow Jade put Tori through, she is the only one who never ran away. She is the only one who would not leave no matter how hard Jade tried to drive her away. God shook up the entire world and somehow Tori still found Jade alone and freezing in the middle of a deserted park. The two swans nuzzle their necks and proceed on their way, eating a few breadcrumbs along the path.

Jade pushes herself up and falls down on her knees, clasping her hands together as she saw Tori do that one time she attended Mass with the Vega family. As tears descend and drop to the cold ground, she whispers with eyes shut tight, "Please God. I don't know what to do without her. I don't know if you're real, or just a delusion of the mind. I don't know anything anymore. Except... except the one constant in my life; except Vega. I can't go on without her. Wasn't that the point of all this? Please don't let it end like this. I know she loves me too, so even if you don't wanna help a godless heathen like me, she's been faithful to you. Do it for her, not for me."

Jade opens her eyes and lets out a long, heavy sigh. She reclines back and rests herself against the most beautiful tree in the world to her — where Tori first found her in this world. "Please God," she continues to whisper, "I need her in my life again. I'd do anything to hold her in my arms one last time. She's what makes this a wonderful life. Please God, I want her to live again." Jade rubs her bloodshot eyes with her palms, "Please let her live again. Please God, save me."

"Jade?" a small voice asks flavored with uncertainty and a small dose of fear.

The gothic girl removes the hands from her eyes and glances up at the worried face of Cat Valentine. She can tell that Jade has been crying for hours by how red her eyes have become. There is virtually no white left in her sclera. "Just go away, Cat," Jade mumbles at her half-heartedly.

Cat moans and stutters, trying to get out a phrase, but afraid that Jade will simply shoot down what she has to say if she does not word it exactly right, or worse, she could bite her head off. Jade has been known to do that, which is why there are a lot of headless horsemen walking around Hollywood Arts. "But, I told Tori I'd come find you," Cat coos softly, holding a hand in front of her mouth, "I don't want you mad at me, but I don't want Tori to be sad either that you're not coming to her Christmas party."

It takes a few moments for the redhead's words to penetrate the pale girl's conscious mind. Her eyes snap to Cat and she immediately summons the strength to jump to her feet. "What did you just say?," she growls at Valentine, her eyes searching the quivering eyes of the other girl. That spark of hope rekindling itself in Jade's soul. Could it be? Could her broken sobs and prayers truly have moved the heart of God?

With trembling lips Cat ekes out, "Tori was looking for you, but Beck had to take her back to her parent's Christmas party, so I promised that I would find you and bring you back to the party." Cat squeals and turns her head to the side, afraid that Jade is going to hit her. Not once has Jade ever struck her, but that is not enough for her to not fear that one time her bark will be transformed into a viscous bite.

Cat's confirmed it! A smile breaks its way onto Jade's lips. "Tori's alive," she murmurs under her breath. Her eyes begin to sparkle, as the dark curtail of red starts to recede. "Wait, wait," Jade says excitedly, "So Tori's all right? She's not dead? She's safe?" The world loses its dark shade of misery and becomes coated anew with beauty and wonder.

Cat turns back towards her slightly frightening friend and asks with extreme curiosity, "Yeah, why would you think she was hurt?" Her pupils go wide and Cat tilts her head studying the other girl's face. Has Jade been drinking, that would explain the bloodshot eyes, Cat wonders.

"It's all back, God put it all back!," Jade shouts in her outdoor voice, unable to stop her smile from becoming a full-fledged grin. She grabs a startled Cat by the shoulders and kisses her flush on the mouth. "I missed you, Kitty Cat. You're my best friend," she continues shouting as she pulls Cat into the world's snuggest hug, "Please don't ever forsake me me again."

Cat blinks a few times and blushes after that kiss. All of this might be too much for the poor girl to handle. She hugs Jadelyn back and begins to smile and squeal as well, deciding to not make a big deal about all this weirdness and just enjoy this expressive side she has always wanted to see her best friend — the one who is not afraid to hug, because Cat needs lots of hugs from her friends.

Jade pulls back and announces, "Come on, Cat, I need my best friend to come help me pick out a Christmas present for Tori, before all the good stores close." She grabs ahold of Cat's wrist and before she can say 'no,' Jade is pulling her towards the edge of the park.

In sheer horror and shock Cat says with a gaping mouth, "You mean you didn't buy her a Christmas present yet?"


	15. It's Not Christmas Without You

Author's Note: This chapter is written as a birthday present to Invader Johnny. He (I am assuming) has been a loyal and dedicated fan of this story — leaving me with many inspirational and helpful comments. The mention of Invader Zim at the end is just for you. And remember that we are back in the original timeline. This is a continuation of Chapter 13.

* * *

Tori sits alone in the corner of the room slowly sipping a cup of hot chocolate stacked to the rim with large marshmallows. The living room is filled with friends and family, chatting, dancing to Christmas music, having a merry ole time. Tori is usually the life of any Christmas party, dressed in an elf costume or reindeer antlers and a bright red nose. But this Christmastime, Tori feels too sullen after her fight with Jade to enjoy much of anything. It is miracle she has been able to withhold the tears. She and Beck were not able to find Jade anywhere, and Cat has gone missing looking for her. Apparently, she is still out there hunting the goth down, Tori thinks to herself; hope she's okay.

André makes his way through the crowds with a cup of eggnog in his hands that he is trying desperately not to spill. He loses a little, but reaches the sullen latina with most of it intact. "You can't stay sulking in the corner all night, chica," André shouts over the loud music blaring in the background. He talks the open seat next to her and nudges her on the shoulder after she completely ignores his comment.

"Oh, don't underestimate me, because you will be sorely disappointed," Tori retorts with a small glimmer of happiness working its way onto her visage. His carefree and perpetually happy demeanor are hard to resist. "I am more powerful than you can possibly imagine," she comments with a wave of her hand. André cannot help but giggle at that sappy Star Wars reference to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Tori reaches her cup out to him and offers him the gluttonous mound of marshmallows. He grabs one by pinching it with his two fingers and pops it whole into his mouth.

"It's good," he barely mumbles out of his stuffed mouth. He chews it a few more times, before forcing the giant glob down his throat. "So Beck told me about you and Jade; well, the way you feel about Jade," André says with a change of demeanor, "But it's not like I didn't already know, so you don't have to get mad at him if he wasn't supposed to tell." He shrugs.

"How did you know?," Tori piques sitting up from her hunched position in interest. She takes another sip of the hot chocolate fighting to keep a marshmallow from making its way into her mouth with the steaming liquid.

André leans back in his chair and takes a shot of eggnog before answering, "Come on, Tori. It wasn't that hard to figure out. You stare at her all the time; get flushed every time she makes a racy joke at your expense. No matter what she does to drive you away you stand right by her side, that song you had me help you write the music for was clearing about her... plus, you drew her portrait for that human body art class you took with me as an extracurricular." André gives her a knowing look, as if this is all just commonsense.

Tori crosses her arms and places her feet up on the chair, pulling her knees to her chest. "I didn't realize it was that obvious," she says with a pout on her face. If André picked up on it so effortlessly, then it is most likely that Jade herself knows, and simply does not care a chiz about her or her feelings, Tori reasons to herself. "If you know, then Jade probably knows too huh?," she inquires of André, "Probably manipulates my feelings and uses them to spit back in my face."

André shakes his head and replies, "No, no, muchacha. Jade is completely oblivious to the fact. She's the only one of our little group who doesn't know how you feel. Kinda like you." He reaches his hand forward with his palm open. Vega rolls her eyes and extends the cup to him, so that he can grab another marshmallow.

"How do you know?," Tori questions, breaking out of the fetal position and focusing on every word of her musically-inclined friend. Her body language becomes much more open and inviting, with arms spread wide on each side of the chair's arms.

André finishes chewing his plunder, swallowing with a big gulp. He slides his chair closer to the latina and tells her, "When we put on our production of _Love Revisited_ last spring, and you were doing that romantic candlelight scene, where you kind of stripped down to that black teddy to seduce Beck's character (I forget his name)... while I was setting up the music for the next scene, Jade commented to me that it's a shame you're straight, as she was totally checking you out."

A bright smile breaks out of the darkness and shines upon Tori's face. It certainly doesn't mean that Jade cares about her, but Tori imagines that it has to mean that Jade at least can feel a base physical attraction for her. It's not much, but it is a silver lining and a place to start. "Jade was checking me out? Really? You're not just messin' with me?" she coos.

"I wouldn't joke about such a thing," André defends himself, stealing another marshmallow from Tori, "I'm not Jade", before plopping it into his mouth. Tori's mouth gapes at that sarcastic comment. André just shrugs his shoulders and says, "What? She's still a gank, even if you love her," mumbling through his mouthful, "Kind of a packaged deal."

"Yeah," Tori says less enthusiastically, "I guess," sinking back down into her chair. She twirls her hair with her forefinger. "Why is her hate so addicting to me? Am I just a masochist addict to the pain," she asks rhetorically.

"That I couldn't tell you; you're kinda like a sister to me, so I try not to think about what you like in the bedroom," André retorts with a devilish smirk, reminiscent of Jade. He turns his shoulder towards her, bracing for the impact.

And there it is, Tori's hand slaps itself against his muscular arm in retaliation. "I didn't mean it like that," she protests. She regains her composure and turns her voice all serious now, "But really André, thanks for trying to cheer me up. I really appreciate it." She runs a hand through her hair, trying to mat some of it down. "It's just that everything reminds me of her... like whenever I have to use a pair of scissors, or Invader Zim comes on the tv, because she told me that was her favorite cartoon as a kid."

"I know," he says sympathetically, moving closer so he can put an arm around her, "We've all fallen for Jade at one time or another; just not nearly as hard as you. It's real for you, not just a stupid high school crush, huh?"

Tori nods her head and she tucks it against his broad shoulder.


End file.
